In the following, I have ranked all 30 MLB teams onf how much I personally liked them as of April,
11 21 2015. These are the definitive rankings.
Without further ado:
ALL 30 MLB TEAMS RANKED, 1st TO 30th (IMO)
30. CLEVELAND INDIANS
The team that uses "Chief Wahoo" on their uniforms. Their fans boo JIM THOME--who has the most Indian home runs of all time, in addition to being the coolest ever, one of the greatest Indians of all time, and one of the greatest MLB players period of all time. So congratulations, Indians fans, you and your racist-ass have achieved WORST MLB TEAM on my personal ranking.
(Bob Feller is completely excluded from any of
this. Bob Feller ruled. Objectively. Not up to debate with anyone. Period.)
29. CHICAGO CUBS
The number of African-American players who have
played for this team and expressed racist treatment by fans is troubling. The
only reason the Cubs aren't last is because they haven't won a World Series in
105+ years, and that is actual hysterical.
28. ATLANTA BRAVES
27. LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
I am so apathetic about this team I have listed it lower than teams I dislike.
I
hate Josh Hamilton. He compared himself to Jesus because
Twins fans heckled him. Now, the Angels have treated him so bad I think I
hate the Angels more? That's how messed up this organization is.
If
this team didn't have Mike Trout, they would be so SOL (even more) on my list. Trout is
really cool. He was really responsive to fans when he was out in left field at
Target Field.
26. BOSTON RED SOX
Mostly because of how crappy the majority of the
fans are. They gloat even worse than Yankees fans did 10 years ago, and they
don't even have the history to back it up.
25. ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Best fans in baseball.
24. TAMPA BAY RAYS
They play inside an "ugly" dome. Domes suck.... Who would ever get emotional over a dome? A DOME? Excuse me.
23. TEXAS RANGERS
I still just love that they gave A-Rod that contract back in the day.
22. HOUSTON ASTROS
21. CINCINNATI REDS
The fact they made a secret nod to Pete Rose in
the stadium is cool. Otherwise, mostly apathy towards them.
20. WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Love Wilson Ramos and Denard Span. This has been
a good team. I'm mostly apathetic about this team too, sorry.
19. COLORADO ROCKIES
Obviously, this team has had Michael Cuddyer, (more importantly now) Justin Morneau, and LaTroy Hawkins. While I love all those guys, there's not much else going on here.
18. ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
Got some relatives out there. And it's hot. Nice stadium.
17. PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Watching the Pirates in the playoffs 2013 was
freaking awesome. And Justin Morneau. Not to mention, how about that ballpark?
16. SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
Be happy you made it this far, Giants, since a lot of it had to do with me having to re-number everyone after you because I completely blocked out any memory of your awful team. Also, the only reason you made it this far at all is because of the greatness of Barry Bonds.
15. SAN DIEGO PADRES
I'm
not even sure why I've always kinda liked the Padres. Tony Gwynn?
Maybe. Also: shout out to my Padres' friend Joe who I think is awesome.
14. BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Good
team. Never go wrong with the uniforms. Cal Ripekn Jr. Awesome stadium. I
dunno, just always liked them
13. MILWAUKEE BREWERS
12. DETROIT TIGERS
Despite
the Tigers-Twins couple rivalries in the past decade, I never disliked this
team. I'm not sure how long my sympathy for the 2003 Tigers team will run, but
there is still a bit of it there to this day.
11. TORONTO BLUE JAYS
"Touch
them all Joe! You'll never hit a bigger home run in your life!" This just kills me.
10. CHICAGO WHITE SOX
I
came to admire and love this team in the 00's, much due to Ozzie Gullien's
colorfulness and the great rivalry between my favorite team and them. I've met
some great White Sox fans too, and we've had a ball at Twins games. I feel like this team is a "brother" to the Twins more than any other.
9. OAKLAND ATHLETICS
I
have no real connection to this team, but have always admired them for their
"Moneyball" ways. The A's and the Twins were both playoff competitors
much of the earlier parts of the 00's decade, and both had small payrolls. They
proved the others wrong, like I felt we did.
But remember--the Twins beat "Moneyball".
8. NEW YORK YANKEES
Many Twins fans, and others, hate the Yankees. Some might be surprised at this placement. Frankly, I'm a baseball fan, and I would be an idiot to ignore the history of this team and the role it has played in baseball.
Furthermore, why to people even despise the Yankees so much? Because they spend a lot of money? They are smart and have used their market as an advantage and have companies that make a ton of money (unlike the Mets). They would be dumb not to use their market and financial opportunities.
The Yankees have one of the richest and strongest histories in all of baseball. Babe Ruth? Lou Gehrig? Ignore that if it makes you feel better about yourself, I guess. As someone who hated the Yankees, but came around to thinking they're okay, I can yell you one thing: hating the Yankees is just wasting your god damn breath and life in general.
And if you just want to complain about annoying Yankees fans, um, have you seen Red Sox fans anytime in the past 10 years?
7. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
This
ranking of the Phillies is almost entirely due to how awesome Phillies fans
are. Oh, you don't agree? *Reaches for spare D Batteries*
6. NEW YORK METS
I've often said I considered the Mets an older cousin of
the Twins. The Mets were made to replace the loss of the Dodgers (Blue) and Giants (Orange) to New York City National League. The Twins replaced the Twin Cities minor
league teams: Minneapolis Millers (formerly a Giants farm team) and the St. Paul Saints (formerly a Dodgers farm team).
Also: "Can't Anyone Here Play This Game?" is my favorite baseball book ever,
5. SEATTLE MARINERS
Two of my top three ever players were Mariners. So they should go here.
P.S. Junior + Ichiro forever
P.S.S. And A-Rod.
4. LOS ANGELES DODGERS
Vin Scully.
3. MIAMI MARLINS
What
a lovely little low-budget team that can win two World Series-es out of nowhere? Family connections to this team, I love them. The Dinger Machine is also
probably the greatest ballpark feature of all time. Don't agree? I will fight you. Literally. Come to Liquor Lyle's and tweet me.
2. KANSAS CITY ROYALS
I
was born July of 1985. My aunt, as long as I will always remember, wore a Kansas City World Series pennant around her neck. Her husband got a ring for
scouting, she got the necklace. I will always love this team until the day I die.
1. MINNESOTA TWINS
Baseball has eternal hope. I want to see the Twins
win the World Series again, but if I don't, that's okay. I'm so lucky, I've seen it twice,
and even better, as a small child who could never imagine anything else. Can you watch Hrbek's Grand Slam or Kirby's Home Run without crying? Because I can't. I mean, crap. I think I'm gonna start crying right now...