Thursday, January 14, 2016

Vikings Fans Losing Their Crap Over Blair Walsh's Missed Field Goal

I'm a Vikings fan. I'm not a very big football fan, but sometimes baseball isn't on, so I watch football. When I watch football I root for the Vikings, and my absolute favorite part about it is watching Vikings fans lose their shit when the team inevitably epically messes up.

That is exactly what happened last Sunday, when Vikings kicker Blair Walsh missed a 27 yard, game-winning field goal in the final seconds of the game.

I watched 50 videos of Vikings fans reacting to the missed kick on YouTube and took notes on my observations (it just really never gets old to me). Below is a summary of how many of the videos included fans doing or saying the following:
  • "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!": 22 (44%)
  • Immediately collapsing on the floor: 14 (28%) (Fans usually remained on the floor face down or in the fetal position)
  • Immediately stating the obvious "HE MISSED IT ": 11 (22%)
  • "Oh my god.": 15 (30%)
  • "I CALLED IT/I KNEW IT": 6 (12%)
  • Screaming explicitives: 29 (58%) (Often done in front of small children)
  • Crying: 3 (6%)
  • Laughing: 10 (20%)
  • Unintelligible, extended screaming: 10 (20%)
  • Staring with mouth open speechless: 2 (4%)
  • "I'm done/That's it": 3 (6%)
  • "Are you kidding me?/You have to be kidding me.": 11 (22%)
  • Throwing objects: 10 (20%) (Most of these were Vikings hats the fan had been wearing and threw at/or near the TV.)
  • "How?"/"What?": 17 (34%)
  • Expressing denial ("That did not just happen."/"Unbelievable."): 11 (22%)
  • "No more Superbowl": 1 (2%)
  • Immediately taking off Vikings jersey or shirt (My personal favorite): 5 (10%)
  • Expressing general, explicit agony about the Vikings and how this always happens: 6 (12%)
  • Mentioning Gary Anderson: 2 (4%)

Here's a couple of my favorite ones:

Fan vaping alone in his garage:

Fan with young unbelievably cute daughter who has no idea what just happened:

Paralyzed fan:

Classic Vikings meltdown fan:

Fan who had me in tears:

Fan who always believed in the Vikings:

Hysterical fan:

"No More Superbowl" fans:


Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Everyone's Favorite Baseball Player

I remember that night, in early June of 2010, when Junior announced his retirement. It was very unexpected (to say the least), and I wrote about it then, because I like to write my way through emotions. Now I'm not sure what else I have to say, but I still have these emotions...

Kirby Puckett has been my favorite baseball player since I could even have a favorite baseball player. Same goes for most kids born and raised in Minnesota at that time. Don't believe me? Go ask Joe Mauer who his favorite player is. But anyway... ever since I could have a second favorite baseball player, my second favorite baseball player was Ken Griffey Jr.

He was just too damn cool. The backwards hat. That smile. The swing.

I know I'm not alone by any means. There are Orioles fans whose favorite player is Cal Ripken Jr. ("But I loved Griffey"). Padres fans whose favorite player was Tony Gwynn ("But I loved Griffey"). Braves fans whose favorite player was... one of any number of players ("But I loved Griffey"). Cardinals fans whose favorite player was Mark McGwire ("But Griffey was awesome"). Giants fans whose favorite player was Barry.... ok, you get the point.

In the spring of 2011 I was at my Dad's house in Arizona with my older brother, and we were watching the Arizona D-Backs pre-game show on TV. One of the features was a kid interviewing their star, Justin Upton. The kid asked him, "Who was your favorite player growing up?" and before Justin answered I said, "Ken Griffey Jr." And then Justin said "Ken Griffey Jr." My brother was astounded. "How did you know that?"

It was just one of those moments where you smile, sigh, and shake your head.

Congratulations, Junior, on your Hall of Fame induction, everything you went through to get there, and getting there with the highest percentage of votes of any National Baseball Hall of Fame inductee ever.

(P.S. - And I will never, ever, EVER forget this.)