Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Biogensis News Reports in Google Translated Japanese

Because I just can't get enough of the Biogensis suspensions handed out yesterday (and have entirely too much free time), I decided to read what the reporters are saying in Japan. Because I don't know Japanese, I used Google Translate.

NHK--the Japanese news stalwart--gives a nice overview of what happened:

12 people of the 50 game suspension
Was announced Major League Organization has accepted the suspension disposal of 50 match is the twelfth person following. 
Currently, five players are registered in the MLS. 
Nelson Cruz Rangers players, Johnny Peralta Tigers players, Antonio Bastard Phillies pitcher, Evers-Kaburera players Padres, is Francisco Seruberi Yankees. 
Six players to play in the minor leagues. 
Joe Danny Valdes pin Mets players, Cesar Puero Mets players, fouling Tino Derosusantosu Padres pitcher, Hesusu-Montero Mariners players, Fernando Martinez Yankees, is Sergio Esukarona Astros pitcher as well. 
It is now Jordan Norbert pitcher free agent addition.

I love how the Western names are phonetically translated. Too bad the translation can't pick up on nuances like "Jhonny". Japan is missing out on some jokes.

The next article I translated was apparently an opinion piece from the Japanese sports site JSports:

Dissonance = A-Rod of the Yankees
It is a comment which is not clothed in the tooth. The latter is also the former also is clearly directed against A • rod that is a challenge to the suspension disposal. Can I say that without the case, the U.S. media and are concentrated attack him. It's because such superstar best ever annual salary he is, why he is not supportive of media regularly also do not's included. For example, veteran reporter of the association, told me this way on condition that the sink one's name. "Fame Brown cooperative in coverage's fall to the ground in the drug uproar It's very unfortunate. However, where A-Rod has become suspended permanently, I do not think sorry at all" to coverage The players not cooperative, sympathy is not gather much. Reporters feel bad for (former Cardinals) Mark McGwire was a fresh start to recognize the mistakes obediently many cases, reporters have compassion for (former Giants) Barry Bonds underlie no comment woman with a fearless laugh off and very are. Reporters have to feel sorry for Brown in the same way, reporters think sorry for A-Rod that you suspect while acknowledging the mistake, was using drugs again equal to nil once.

Really, really wondering what the Barry Bonds comment means. 

Japanese sports website Sanspo, as it usually does, includes important quotes from each involved party at the end of its piece:

Story of Yankees Rodriguez
"(for drug use). you want to prove that I'm glad to be worn again uniform. you can play at a high level you want to talk time to talk when he comes" 
Story of Yankees Girardito use
"(Rodriguez) because ready. it is the hope that it will be innocence, but do not know what arbitrage or down. think first what to do use the 25 people in the club house . I also use the designated hitter in the future " 
Story of Selig Commissioner
"will protect integrity of. baseball thorough inspection of the drug, the study to the problem, fairness, its position in the future" 
Weiner story of the Major League Players Association executive director, 
"I do not think. mechanism that respects the will to fight disposal of Rodriguez and made a proper investigation in line with the provisions"

Nikkan Sports come through with the Japanese angle:

Ichiro and "do not know" A rod drug problem
 Yankees of Ichiro outfielder (39), has puzzled drug problem colleague Alex Rodriguez infielder (38). Expected to suspension disposal is official announcement from MLB 5 days today, A • rod of the vortex merging plans in Chicago expedition earlier with returns from the disabled list. It is a turn of affairs is likely to develop into a big scandal en masse media is surging from the National, but Ichiro seemed not come and pin labeled "Do you feel that so such? tabloid show like".
 Sense of reality was thin with regard drug problem. Said, "~, something about me and than say. Alex (in the U.S. media) was asked yesterday for the first time, was that about medications No, but is not presented in the way so much," and for medicine for "I He said with a perplexed expression even have heard. story you do not know well knowledge is too lack, do not know whether true. to be "it because too much is just too far.

I gather Ichiro said he didn't know about A-Rod's drug use, and then something really wise but I have no idea what.

Anyway, I could go down this rabbit hole for hours, but I won't. Instead I will leave you with this strangely poetic Google-Translated quote about the Yankees 2013 season:

It said the disabled etc. if only this one after another, the Yankees faced a number of star players, not totally vestiges of galaxy groups, sober lineup are lined up in the lineup

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Marlins Dinger Machine Alarm Clock: I Need This

Two World Baseball Classic games were played at Marlins Stadium yesterday, which inevitably brought up the subject of the greatest thing the Marlins franchise has ever given baseball.

The Dinger Machine.

Look at this monstrosity. Can you even remember your first thoughts upon seeing this thing? I can't, because they weren't even intelligible words.

So of course, fartin' around on Twitter during the Italy versus Dominican Republic game, the machine came up.

And I did, yesterday, send an e-mail to the Marlins (Note: You can contact any team by going to their website, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking "CONTACT US". I've contacted various teams for various [always important] reasons via this method).

I was wondering if a mini-replica of the Dinger Machine (featuring the fish and things in right field [sic]) that functioned as an alarm clock was available or would be available in the future.  
M**** *****
612*** ****
*****. *****@gmail.com

And just a day later, I got this reply:

Hello M****,

Thank you for writing. We do not have a mini-replica of our Home Run Feature in centerfield but it is a good idea. I will pass on your email to our Marketing Department.
John-Albert Rodriguez
Manager, Season Ticket Services
Miami Marlins, L.P.
Office: 305-***-****  


I wanted to write back and suggest the clock also spray water a la the real thing, but I was afraid the Marlins worker would start to think I was not absolutely serious about my need for one of these alarm clocks. If we can make baby dolls that poop, I don't see why we can't make a little refillable reservoir of water in a Dinger Machine alarm clock that spins and sprays water at whatever time you need to wake up.

If you would be interested in a Dinger Machine Alarm Clock, please go to the Miami Marlins Contact Us site and contact them about it. (Remember to tell them about the spraying water thing!)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Finding What I Lost

I was living in Manhattan when Kirby Puckett died on March 6, 2006. And I remember the first time I ran into a Minnesotan after that. It was obvious--to both of us.

"Oh Kirby! People don't understand..."

I was born and raised in Minneapolis in 1985. The Twins winning the World Series in '87 and '91--and more importantly, Kirby Puckett--comprise many of the first and favorite memories. Kirby Puckett was beloved as he is by Minnesotans long before 1991. That's part of what made his performance so special.

I can specifically remember running to my Dad's dressing room the morning after game 6. I remember my Dad telling me, excitedly, while he tied his tie and such, what Kirby Puckett had done. He told me if the Twins won the World Series that night, he would buy us hats. And he did.

Seven years ago I sat down at my computer in my little shared studio in soho Manhattan. It was a Sunday. I saw a CNN.com news headline for "Baseball HOFer Suffers Massive Stroke". I was curious. I clicked. I felt like I got socked in the stomach.

I wore my baby-blue Kirby Puckett jersey (the most expensive piece of clothing I owned at the time) to school and work Monday. Kirby was taken off life support Monday night. So of course I never took the jersey off.

Kirby's passing was a front page headline by Tuesday. Took a whole subway sized NY Post cover. I remember walking into work that morning, after seeing the NY Post newspapers on the subway, and my loud-mouth supervisor asking, "Hey! Did you just buy that jersey because he died?"

This was 8:30 am in the morning. In the middle of Manhattan. In 2006. And I was wearing a Hall of Fame replica Minnesota Twins Kirby Puckett jersey--that had been wearing for two days.

I kind of stood there and stared at her for a moment. Then I replied.

"No. Kirby Puckett was my hero."

Rest in Peace
Kirby Puckett

Please add your own thoughts and memories of KIRBBBBBBBBBBBBBYY PUCKETT!!