Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Marlins Dinger Machine Alarm Clock: I Need This




Two World Baseball Classic games were played at Marlins Stadium yesterday, which inevitably brought up the subject of the greatest thing the Marlins franchise has ever given baseball.

The Dinger Machine.







Look at this monstrosity. Can you even remember your first thoughts upon seeing this thing? I can't, because they weren't even intelligible words.

So of course, fartin' around on Twitter during the Italy versus Dominican Republic game, the machine came up.







And I did, yesterday, send an e-mail to the Marlins (Note: You can contact any team by going to their website, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking "CONTACT US". I've contacted various teams for various [always important] reasons via this method).


Hello. 
I was wondering if a mini-replica of the Dinger Machine (featuring the fish and things in right field [sic]) that functioned as an alarm clock was available or would be available in the future.  
Thanks! 
M**** *****
612*** ****
*****. *****@gmail.com


And just a day later, I got this reply:


Hello M****,

Thank you for writing. We do not have a mini-replica of our Home Run Feature in centerfield but it is a good idea. I will pass on your email to our Marketing Department.
John-Albert Rodriguez
Manager, Season Ticket Services
Miami Marlins, L.P.
Office: 305-***-****  


THERE IS A *CHANCE* THE MARLINS MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE THESE.

I wanted to write back and suggest the clock also spray water a la the real thing, but I was afraid the Marlins worker would start to think I was not absolutely serious about my need for one of these alarm clocks. If we can make baby dolls that poop, I don't see why we can't make a little refillable reservoir of water in a Dinger Machine alarm clock that spins and sprays water at whatever time you need to wake up.

If you would be interested in a Dinger Machine Alarm Clock, please go to the Miami Marlins Contact Us site and contact them about it. (Remember to tell them about the spraying water thing!)



1 comment:

  1. That is a visual feast. I especially like the Marlin twirling at the top.

    So pumped for tonight's game. I'm going to guess Deduno walks 6 before he gets the yank.

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