Hate to Break it to You, Ozzie...

“We don’t need a sweep, we need to win the first game,” said White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. “We need to win the series. We’ll see what happens.”

Explained in this flow chart published by the Chicago Tribune earlier today (it's great, trust me), the White Sox still had a chance to win the Al Central Division--provided they swept the three-game series with the Twins this week. After tonight's 9-3 Twins win, we know that's not going to happen.

However, the Twins haven't technically clinched yet. Because I don't want to jinx anything, I'll just post some headlines from the Chicago media instead:

White Sox Drop Critical Opener to Twins
Defeat all but finishes off White Sox
Thome 'very, very happy' with Twins
A hole too deep for White Sox
Opener-and-shut
Here Lies The 2010 White Sox

JIM THOME! HOMERUNS! SHAVING-CREAM PIES! [videos]

I was going to write about how Tony Oliva sat by the Tony O’s Cuban Sandwich stand today before the game. He is so awesome. And I was going to write about how our White Sox fan friend made us super delicious friendship bread. I was going to write about Kirby the Kestrel, finally coming back to the foul pole (for just a moment). I was going to write about Bobby Thompson. And I was also going to write about how all of the guys sitting in front of us were flabbergasted when my boyfriend called O-Dog’s homerun in the first.

But let's just get to the point.


Jim Thome: First walk-off homerun at Target Field




And, apparently, not even future HOFers are immune to shaving cream pies (although I guess they have Nick Puntos waiting to provide immediate relief?)




THOME IS MY HOMEY