HOME-STAND SWEEP!

The Twins just did something they have never done before at Target Field: sweep an entire home-stand!

Granted, the home-stand was just three games long. And it was against the struggling Seattle Mariners. But whatever. Twins swept the home-stand! WOOHOO!

On Friday night, Ken Burns—as in “Ken Burns: Baseball”—threw out one of the many ceremonial “first” pitches that occur before every game.






While throwing out the pitch, the PA guy said that “Baseball” is the most watched program on PBS ever, which I did not know. I am not surprised though—it has to be the best documentary of all time. It’s all about baseball. So if for some reason you haven’t seen this, please set aside 18 hours the next Twins off-day to watch the documentary in its entirety. Then sometime on or after next September 28th and 29th, set aside 4 more hours to watch Ken Burns’ new sequel covering everything that has happened in baseball since 1994. It’s going to be awesome.




After seeing Ken Burns, I got my first glimpse of the newest Minnesota Twin—Matt Capps.





I was a little dismayed to see him wearing number 55, but I guess if Mike Redmond ever comes back just to hang out he doesn’t really need his number. It’s also hard for me to hold it against Capps after finding out he’s good friends with Doug Mientkiewicz, who even texted Capps on Thursday night to congratulate him on going to the Twins. Any good friend of Doug’s is a good friend of mine. Even A-Rod (who, if you didn’t know, was on the same high school baseball team as Doug).




When the game started, I noticed something much more upsetting.






Lee Tinsley is no longer the Mariners' first base coach! Now he’s all the way over at third base! AND HE'S NOT EVEN WEARING HIS SOCKS UP TO SHOW OFF HIS GLORIOUS CALVES! As if Ken Griffey Jr. retiring before the trip to Target Field wasn't bad enough.



But the Mariners are still fun to see because of Ichiro, who is one of my favorite players and really fun to watch.











Ichiro is especially fun to watch when a Twins’ pitcher gets him to strike out three times in one game, which Kevin Slowey accomplished on Saturday. Slowey, along with Tim Hudson in 2003 and Josh Beckett in 2007, are the only pitchers to ever accomplish this.







In the second inning of Friday’s game, Thome hit his 577th career homerun to put the Twins ahead 2-0. And then Seattle’s left fielder Michael Saunders did this:







Yes—he stuck his spikes through the wall, lifted himself up, and RIPPED A GIANT HOLE! Didn’t anyone tell Michael that this is a brand new stadium, with brand new walls, partially funded with tax-payer dollars, so don’t come in and mess it all up you dung monkey!?

On Saturday, the Mariners did not rip any holes in the wall. But you could still see where the Twins had to patch up the hole from the day before.









Saturday’s game went by pretty quick—it only lasted 2 hours and 7 minutes—so our ride was late picking us up from the ballpark. This wasn’t a problem though—we just hung out at Hrbek’s, which is like Disney Land for Twins fans who like to get boozy.








Try the Rex burger from here sometime--but cut it in half before biting in. It's a juicy Lucy, which I learned (the hard way) will explode all over your pants if you're not careful.


I also found a table I thought I wanted in my house:





But about a minute later I found the one I actually want in my house:




Never mind the fact that I don’t even have a house.


Don’t these people look happy?






Other pictures from the home-stand:

Henry Blanco jersey!

Ichiro running.

Ichiro stretching (which he does a lot).

Wally’s all hopped up on Vitamin D.

Kevin Slowey and some neat shadows.

Beautiful day.

I'm really liking the vines on these things.

Chone Figgins after Thome's 577th career homerun.

Japanese fans are the best.

Check out this awesome, successful dive by Casilla!

Making Punto jealous!

All pictures used in this post are courtesy of me (the stupid ones) or my Mom (the awesome ones)!

SHHHH! No Yelling at the Target Field

I must not have gotten the memo, but APPARENTLY you’re not supposed to yell at Target Field. You're supposed to clap and cheer when the Twins get a hit, or when a squirrel runs on to the field or something like that—but that’s it. Don’t try yelling any other time, because—EXCUSE ME—people sitting around you are trying to watch a baseball game in some peace and quiet.

I was informed about all this last night. In the top of the 8th inning, my boyfriend and I were just sitting around yelling, having a grand ol’ time, when the fun cops in front of us turned around and told us to be quiet.





You know, because it’s a baseball game.

And this wasn’t even just a fluke either! Some girl wearing one of those hideous hair bump things you buy at Walgreens then told us to “Shut up,” with her orange friend adding in, “You guys must not get out much.”






You’re probably thinking, “Wow, they must have been really out of line if two people told them to pipe down.” So what exactly were we doing? We weren’t yelling expletives. We weren’t yelling at another fan. We weren’t simply screaming or even yelling anything mean hearted. No. All we were doing was trying to get Rusty Kuntz to turn around and look at us.






It was just me and my boyfriend, yelling together on the count of three, “RUSTY!!!”

We weren’t even yelling “RUSTY KUNTZ!!!” There were kids around.




I guess some people just don’t understand the joy behind yelling at first base coaches. This is by far my favorite pass-time at the pass-time. What could be better than yelling, “NICE CALVES LEEE!” until Lee Tinsley flicks you off? If you guessed coming back every night of the series against the Seattle Mariners and yelling, “NICE CALVES LEEEE!!” until Lee Tinsley turns around and tips his cap to you, you are correct!




Harold Baines is also a really good sport with this. Harold—like most first base coaches—does not like to stand in the first base coach’s box. So we remind him to 'Get In The Box Harold!' and that 'It’s For Your Safety Harold!' and most of the time he’ll act like he can’t hear us. But he can. He can hear us because he does things like go stand with one foot in the box (“You’re Almost There Harold!”), or walk all around the box, or rest his hand on his back with his middle finger sticking out. But when he really gets sick of us, he just drops his shoulders, marches over to the box, steps in to the box, turns around, and shoots us a stare. We squeal with delight, he marches back over to his spot outside the box, and we leave him alone—until the next time the White Sox are in town and the game is dragging.





Then you have your weird-os like Rene Lachemann. You don’t even have to say anything to him. All you have to do is watch him chew gum, blow bubbles, and carefully pop them with a toothpick before doing it again. And again. And again.











But there is one visiting first base coach who tops them all. That, of course, is Andy Van Slyke.



I don’t even like Andy because of the time he pulled off the ol’ middle finger resting on his back trick when I told him to Stop Spitting Sunflower Seeds All Over The Floor Because Someone Has To Vacuum That Up You Know. No. I like Andy because he’s extremely talented. He apparently used to play baseball and I know nothing about how good he was, but I don't even have to know because I know this: Andy Van Slyke can chew bubblegum and sunflower seeds at the same time—AND he can blow bubbles while doing it.






Andy Van Slyke’s cool factor goes up by about a billion points because he even came over to me during a game against the Tigers last year and we had an entire conversation about this. It was like the 14th inning, and there wasn’t a single sunflower shell on the field turf and he hadn’t blown any bubbles. So I stole a front seat from someone who left the game early and politely requested that he blow a bubble (“BLOW A BUBBLE ANDDDYY!!!”). He came over to me and explained that he had just gotten something done to his teeth and couldn’t chew gum or sunflower seeds. I said some things and he said some other things too, but I don’t remember what exactly because I was too busy thinking, “Andy Van Slyke is talking to me.”

So you can imagine how extremely bummed out I was when I realized just before that game against the Tigers on May 3rd—when I had those super sweet front row seats—that Andy Van Slyke had retired. Boo.



One first base coach who has never acknowledged me is Rusty Kuntz. Now I realize the guy probably has a sore spot for being heckled by fans, but I never have or would say anything mean to him. I just want him to wave at me. He has to crack sometime. I’m not giving up.

Hmm... Maybe I do need to get out more.