Thursday, August 25, 2011

TOOT TOOT! Twins Train of SUCK Coming Through!

The Minnesota Twins sucking it up against the Baltimore Orioles on Wednesday night.

So far in the month of August, the Twins have won 5 games and lost 17. They were just swept by the Baltimore Orioles—the team with the worst record in the league—at Target Field. The Twins scored all of 4 runs during the series. And yes, it was a four-game series—the first four-game series the Orioles have swept in Minnesota. Ever.

What has been the cause of the Twins suckitude? The following table may offer some insight:

Minnesota Twins Team Statistics August 1st, 2011-August 25th, 2011
Statistic Twins Performance Rank Among MLB’s 30 Teams
AVG .233 27th
OBP .287 30th
SLG .357 29th
OPS .643 29th
ERA 5.22 28th
ER 112 3rd (more like 27th)
WHIP 1.58 30th
SO 1.15 30th

So basically, every facet of the Twins is sucking harder than a Dyson no-loss-of-suction vacuum cleaner.

Please, Indians, for the love of God, take Jim Thome away from this giant ball of suck.


  1. I might not have ever played baseball professionally, or coached it at any level, or been asked for my "expert" opinion and analysis by anyone. BUT...I'm going to guess that when you fail to score runs AND fail to prevent runs from scoring against're going to lose many many MANY ballgames.

  2. Twins may lose over 100, the way things have and are going!