Kirby's Left Eye

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

2011-11-05T23:00:00.012-05:00

It’s that time of year. You know what I’m talking about. That time when you find yourself watching reruns of Seinfeld you’ve seen a million times. When the days get shorter, and you have no idea what to do at 7:00 PM. You find the sports section of the newspaper sitting around somewhere, flip through it in a few seconds, and toss it aside. Then, one day, all of a sudden, you wake up and you’re watching a Vikings game, and that’s when you realize you’ve hit rock bottom.

It’s Seasonal Affective Disorder—and you’re not alone.

I, like so many of you, am attempting to combat this crippling disease. So today, I would like to share some of the things that have helped me through these dark times.

1. Buy “Ken Burns: Baseball”

You need to do this. Even if you aren’t suffering from SAD. “Ken Burns’s ‘Baseball’” is the greatest thing in the world, except for, um, baseball. And cheese curds. It’s 23 and ½ hours—11 full-length DVDs—of pure baseball glory. It chronicles all of the most important events in baseball history (except the 1991 World Series), and it will make anyone who watches it love baseball. It’s the most watched program on PBS—EVER. The Third Inning (all the DVDs are named after innings) is all about how ridiculous Babe Ruth was. And by ridiculous I mean drunk.

GET IT.

2. Buy the 1991 World Series on DVDs.

Last summer, some company selling the Twins 1991 World Series DVDs sponsored contests by Twins Blogs to give away 1991 World Series DVDs for free. Apparently, my blog did not have the clout to take part. HOWEVER, after entering every contest on all of my fellow Twins’ bloggers blogs, I BAGGED MYSELF SOME 1991 WORLD SERIES DVDS! WOOT WOOT! (Shout out to the awesome BAT SHATTERERS!)

The DVDs are awesome. You get to see all the crowd shots and special segments from the ‘80s (oh wait—‘90s! My bad). The 1991 graphics, by themselves, are worth the money. You can switch the audio from the TV broadcast to the radio broadcast (“TOUCH ‘EM ALL KIRBY PUCKETT! TOUCH ‘EM ALL KIRBY PUCKETT!”). You can watch Kent Hrbek pull Ron Gant off the bag, then rewind and watch Ron Gant’s momentum pull Kent Hrbek off the bag, then rewind again and… seriously what the f*** happened there?

3. Learn about Japanese Baseball

Japanese baseball is really cool. You watch it and it’s like you’ve entered some bizarre-o world where people eat breakfast at night and dinner in the morning. Which you then realize is super awesome. And you get to see stuff like this:

HOLY CARP!

Unlike the USA, professional baseball is the most popular professional sport in Japan. Really—Japan loves the American pastime more than Americans! That might be why they’ve won every World Baseball Classic ever held.

But just remember—the Hiroshima Toyo Carp are the best.

4. Read Books About Baseball

I recently got around to reading “Moneyball”. Eh, it was okay. But the best part was that I really actually felt baseball was alive again. ALIVE. This is important when combating SAD.

Some good baseball books I recommend:
- “Can’t Anyone Here Play This Game?” by Jimmy Breslin
- “Past Time” by Julies Tygiel
- “Moneyball” by Michael Lewis
- “Eight Men Out” by Eliot Asinof (how “alive” this book makes you feel about baseball is to be debated)

Have you read any other good baseball books? Please comment!

5. Hockey!

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

6. Go to Law School/Med School

I actually don’t necessarily recommend this route—but it’s pretty good as far as battling seasonal affective disorder. As in “I’m so f****ing busy/stressed out I never even realized baseball stopped.” Plus, you’re doing something other people think is awesome, even though you know there are no jobs out there for law school graduates these days.

F***ing s***, I should have gone to med school.

7. Get a Sun Lamp

This is just what my therapist tells me. I can’t really afford one though—anyone know if this works?

Do you have a solution for SAD? Leave a comment!

TOOT TOOT! Twins Train of SUCK Coming Through!

2011-08-25T16:53:00.007-05:00

The Minnesota Twins sucking it up against the Baltimore Orioles on Wednesday night.

So far in the month of August, the Twins have won 5 games and lost 17. They were just swept by the Baltimore Orioles—the team with the worst record in the league—at Target Field. The Twins scored all of 4 runs during the series. And yes, it was a four-game series—the first four-game series the Orioles have swept in Minnesota. Ever.

What has been the cause of the Twins suckitude? The following table may offer some insight:

Minnesota Twins Team Statistics August 1st, 2011-August 25th, 2011
Statistic	Twins Performance	Rank Among MLB’s 30 Teams
Hitting
AVG	.233	27th
OBP	.287	30th
SLG	.357	29th
OPS	.643	29th
Pitching
ERA	5.22	28th
ER	112	3rd (more like 27th)
WHIP	1.58	30th
SO	1.15	30th

So basically, every facet of the Twins is sucking harder than a Dyson no-loss-of-suction vacuum cleaner.

Please, Indians, for the love of God, take Jim Thome away from this giant ball of suck.

OMG BOBBLEHEADS

2011-08-06T13:31:00.006-05:00

If you aren’t living under a rock, you heard that yesterday was bobblehead day at Target Field. And you know that it wasn’t just any ol’ bobblehead day—it was the EPIC 1991 World Series Game 2 Hrbek-Gant Bobblehead Day everyone and their dog has been waiting for since Hrbek lifted Gant off first base in game 2 of the 1991 World Series (or held the tag on Gant while he fell off base. Whatever.)

I’ve done the bobblehead day thing many times, but holy cow were people crazy for Hrbek-Gant dolls. By the time I arrived at Target Field around 3:30pm, there were already lines circling around the stadium. It was the most people I’ve ever seen already there waiting that early on bobblehead day.

Bobble Bobble

Faced with the already long lines, Mom and I decided to diversify to maximize our chances of receiving at least one bobblehead. Mom got in line at Gate 14, while I walked around to check out the lines on the other side of the stadium at Gate 6 and Gate 3. What I found was amazing: the lines actually ran into each other, so there was basically one long line with a middle point where people were suddenly facing the other direction. People were confused and the line at Gate 6 wasn’t actually that long, so I got in line.

And we waited. And waited.

There is a special moment on every bobblehead day. It’s the moment when—after all the waiting and waiting—the line suddenly starts to move. The ticket scanners start to bing. And you move closer and closer to the gate, where you see that—YES! There are still boxes of bobbleheads left I’mtotallygoingtogetoneSUCCESS!!!

But not everyone gets to experience this moment. Alas, there are the poor souls who showed up at 4:00 pm, or weren’t smart enough to know the lines at Gate 34 and 29 are way longer than the lines at Gates 6, 3, and 14. They get to the front of the line only to have their tickets scanned and realize they just came to the game hours early for no reason.

I met one of these women coming in Gate 14 just as the last bobbleheads had been given out. “There was a family of five in front of me and EACH ONE got a bobblehead,” she lamented. Unfortunately, that’s kind of the way it works, but I tried to put on my sympathetic-stranger face as I clutched my own Hrbek-Gant bobblehead. I’m not sure if she thought I’d take pity and give her my bobblehead, because she could have had mine if she preyed it from MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

After locating my Mom, who was also victorious, we went to the Metropolitan Club to celebrate our obtainment of the Hrbek-Gant Bobblehead Dolls with some libations. All of the tables and chairs were already taken so we had to sit on the floor and play with our dolls.

Two hours later there was a baseball game, and it sucked. The Twins lost to the White Sox 5-3.

The end.

P.S.

Twitter friend and fellow blogger Betsy—who apparently almost had her bobblehead snatched at Hubert's after the game—tweeted a picture of one lucky Twins fan who got a GANT-GANT bobblehead doll. Woah.

The Heat Index is 115 Degrees—Let’s Play a Double Header!

2011-07-19T10:08:00.007-05:00

In the stands at Target Field, basically.

Last April, the Twins rescheduled a rained-out game against the Indians for July 18, 2011, setting up the double header that was played yesterday.

Conveniently, the heat index was 115 degrees.

It was hot. It was sooooo hot. How hot was it? Consider:

The photograph accompanying an Associated Press story on the heat wave was of fans at Target Field.

Dozens of fans needed medical attention. ESPN 1500 reported the number as fifty for the noon game alone. At least several fans were taken to HCMC.

Anthony LaPanta and Roy Smalley fried an egg.

Players were offered IV bags in-between games. Michael Cuddyer opted for one.

At least one player—Tsuyoshi Nishioka—did not play the second game due to fatigue (although he was later seen inexplicably wearing a sweatshirt during a meet-up with a youth soccer team from Japan, which was in town for the Schwan’s Cup in Blaine).

The Star Tribune has a poll up asking fans if they miss the Metrodome and its AC ("No" is winning, but not by all that much).

Oh, and the Twins lost both games of the double header to the first-place Indians.

Playing multiple games in this heat will likely wear the Twins players down significantly. On the bright side, however, Joe Mauer did go 6-for-8 yesterday, raising his batting-average to .290.

The Twins play again today at 7:00pm. The heat index forecast is 113 degrees.

Opinions are like…

2011-07-01T15:59:00.017-05:00

This post is about the current debate over replacing Tsuyoshi Nishioka with Trevor Plouffe at shortstop. Yes, I know many of my posts this year have been about Nishi. But no, I’m not in love with him and he isn’t my favorite player. I just find all the hoopla with him especially interesting. And I’m addicted to Google Translate. Seriously. (Side note: I just realized today that when Google-Translated Japanese reports on the Twins mention “Libya,” they are actually referring to Ben Revere.)

Over the past couple days, it seems everyone has expressed some sort of opinion on Tsuyoshi. Aaron Gleeman is worried, but still thinks it is too early to write Nishioka off. Sid Hartman talked with Chiba Lotte Marine president Ryuzo Setoyama—a close personal friend in town to present Tsuyoshi Nishioka with his 2010 championship ring—and he thought Nishioka needs to relax and will in time become a good major leaguer. Tom Powers of the Pioneer Press second-guessed the Twins’ decision to sign Nishi, but also reserved the right to second-guess his second-guess in case Nishi improves. Phil Mackey of ESPN 1500 talked about some stat-head gobbledegook that apparently proves Nishioka isn't actually as good as he played last year. Nick Nelson of Twinscentric advocated sending Nishioka to AAA and calling Plouffe back up to play shortstop. Twins Outsider advocated against replacing Nishioka with Plouffe, believing it wouldn’t be an upgrade.

And, of course, the ever delightful Jim Souhan took a little break from calling Joe Mauer an overpaid, lazy son-of-a-[redacted] to verbally poop all over Nishioka.

In fact, Souhan’s remarks were so scathing they were quoted and described by several Japanese media outlets. One report went so far as to describe the STAR TRIBUNE WEBSITE COMMENTS on Souhan’s article. So now the Japanese are really in-the-know.

Curious as to what Japanese fans thought, I googled around until I found a Japanese message board post commenting on Souhan’s remarks. Now, I don’t know exactly what was being said because I don’t know Japanese. But what I did discern was pretty interesting—the comments left by Japanese fans seemed pretty much the same as the comments by American fans: "Nishioka has been painful to watch," "It’s still too early to judge Nishioka," "Nishioka is just another Kaz Matsui," "Nishioka will come around," "Joe Mauer is batting even worse than Nishioka," "Nishioka should be sent to the minors," and "Come home Nishioka!" I even found a comment suggesting Plouffe as a replacement (comment number 889).

So yes, opinions are like... well, you know. We all have them.

Here’s my opinion: Nishioka has only played 19 major league games. Replacing Nishi with Plouffe is not going to propel the Twins to a division championship. I’m not convinced Plouffe’s minor league numbers overshadow his major league struggles. Nishioka did alright in spring training and in his minor league rehab stint; I’m not convinced the Twins need to send him to the minors. Gardenhire and the Twins are 100% justified in treating these two very different players in a different manner. Everyone knew Nishioka would have quite an adjustment period, and I certainly didn’t expect that period to be over in fewer than the equivalent of three weeks of major league games. The Twins suck this year anyway. Just let the kid play.

I believe that whether Nishioka can succeed in the majors will depend in a large part on whether we start to see him making adjustments in the coming weeks, even if those adjustments don’t necessarily fix everything right away. I just want to see, for now, what his effort and ability at adapting will be. From everything I’ve heard and read, he seems to have a good disposition for making changes. The story of how being cut from the World Baseball Classic team in 2009 and struggling later that season caused Nishi to reflect on his playing and lifestyle, and then go on to have a career year in 2010, makes me think he has a promising reaction to failure.

Adjustments can start with Nishioka swinging the bat without looking like the final stages in a game of Jenga. Seriously. It's freaking me out Nishi.

So yes—maybe Nishioka will end up just being another Kaz Matsui. But maybe he won’t. No one knows what will happen, but feel free to leave a comment with your opinion.

Sardines and, uh, the Media Circus

2011-06-17T11:04:00.024-05:00

In 2006, the ever-delightful Ozzie Guillen called the Twins “little piranhas.” This week, after the Twins swept the White Sox in a rain-shortened two-game series, Ozzie had this to say about the Twins:

"They are [redacted] sardines. You see a bunch of circus midgets out there. But they can play."

HEY, OZZIE—DON’T CALL THE TWINS CIRCUS MIDGETS! THEY ARE CIRCUS LITTLE PEOPLE!

But there really was a circus at Target Field this week—a media circus, brought on by the home-debut of recently recovered Japanese import Tsuyoshi Nishioka. Nishi got a good welcome cheer from the crowd when he first came out to do pre-game stretches, tipping his hat to the fans in acknowledgement.

A group of cameramen positioned thirty or so meters away documented his warm up.

Then, Nishioka made a documented returned to the dugout.

And THEN Nishi came out of the dugout and took the field.

(Yes, he jumped over the hoard of crouching media.)

Nishioka went 1-for-4 with a lucky infield hit (which he even acknowledged to the press was just a lucky hit). He showed great range at shortstop, but didn’t exactly have a cannon of an arm. He fielded at least one ball every inning, and turned several double-plays. He didn’t break any bones. He had one error, and true to Japanese form, immediately apologized to Nick Blackburn. He apologized to fans for the error in a post-game interview.

Robbie-Ryo-Nishi, Nishi-Ryo-Robbie, Robbie-Ryo-Nishi, Nishi-Ryo-Robbie
After the game, Nishi (roughly in Google Translate form) said, "(Fracture), but betrayed the expectations, the fans accepted me happy." Nishioka seemed to have had worries about how he would be received by Twins fans, and was put much at ease with the cheers. "In the first game at home, me accept that my fans happy. Happy days indeed was. Hope you do not forget the feelings of today," he said.

I think Nishioka showed great potential, and I really like his positive and hard-working attitude. Being the youngest Japanese player to ever play in the major leagues, I think these traits bode well. Fans should show a little patience with him before writing him off. He's making quite the transition, and I wouldn't expect him to do it all overnight.

But wait! The media circus didn't stop, because after the game Joe Mauer was activated from the DL and held a press conference to field questions. We learned:

Joe Mauer doesn’t have lyme’s disease
Joe Mauer doesn’t have ALS
Joe Mauer’s knees were just really, really sore
Joe Mauer sees no reason why the Twins can’t win the division
Joe Mauer will happily interrupt a press conference to inform Sid Hartman that his tape recorder stopped

But alas—to make room for Joe on the 40-man roster, Brian Dinkelman was outrighted to the minors. Dinkels, we hardly knew thee. Let us pause to remember Dinkelman’s major league performance:

14 at-bats
1 hit by pitch
4 single-base hits
0 homeruns
2 intentional walks

WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, BRIAN DINKELMAN!

DINKELMAN!

2011-06-05T10:04:00.017-05:00

His name is Brian Dinkelman. Now he plays for the 2011 Twins.

Last night was his major league debut—and on the very first major league pitch he faced, he was hit and awarded first base.

DINKELMAN!

He's the 39th different player to play for the Twins this year. Last night he played in left field, although he can play second base too. His versatility is sure to make him a hit with Gardy. He will probably call him “Dinky”.

Dinkelman hit a fly-ball in his second major league at-bat, but no one will remember that, because in the top of the sixth, Dinkelman got his first major-league hit—a single on a line drive to the Royals left fielder Alex Gordon.

DINKELMAN!

Dinkels made a great catch in the field—the Twins' web gem of the night. So as he came to the plate for the third time, in the top of the seventh, the chants at Kauffman Stadium majestically began:

DIN-KEL-MAN! DIN-KEL-MAN! DIN-KEL-MAN!!

And then he was intentionally walked.

Dinkelman struck out in his final plate appearance, but that is of no import now. Alexi Casilla, even, had an excellent game with four hits and two RBIs. But no one will remember him in this Twins win, standing there in the giant shadow of BRIAN DINKELMAN!

Losing Games, Blowing Calls, and other Twins Notes

2011-05-31T11:30:00.052-05:00

Unfortunately, the Twins seem destined to spend 2011 learning the hard way how many different ways they can lose a baseball game. In Monday’s game, the Tigers broke a 5-5 tie in the bottom of the 8th inning when a grounder bounced, hit a fan in an orange shirt and the umpires called it fan interference even though it should have been a ground rule double. Johnny Peralta, who had been on first, was awarded home base instead of third, and thus scored the winning run. When asked about the seemingly inexplicable call after the game, crew chief Gary Darling explained: “We ruled spectator interference and we ruled the runner would have scored without it. [You know, because we said so.]”

The bad call provided baseball writers with fresh fodder to once again bemoan the fact there isn’t more instant-replay in baseball. Although I didn’t like Monday’s call, my position on expanded instant-replay remains the same—I don't like it. As I explained almost exactly one year ago:

Personally, I find anything that makes baseball any bit more like football revolting. When Gardy goes out to challenge a close call, do I want to see all the umpires run off to a little room where they will huddle around, watch a video tape, and decide what to do? Heck no. I want Gardy to be ejected, everyone to throw their hats on the field, and then be able to blame all of the Twins’ misgivings on the umpires. After all, it wasn't all those missed chances that lost the game for the Twins last night, it was that one blown call.

Come on guys: was it really that one stupid call that lost it for the Twins yesterday? With Kubel and Thome already pulled from the game, Matt Tolbert and Drew Butera the only available pinch-hitters, and the Twins already three-relievers deep into the 2011 Twins bullpen, were they really going to pull out a win? Maybe... but maybe not.

However, a tearful apology from Gary Darling tonight when Jerry White or whomever trots out to present the Twins lineup card would still be very welcome.

Guess Who's Hot...

Between May 1st and May 30th, when it comes to Twins players who had at least 20 at-bats, guess who had the highest batting average (.302), on-base percentage (.362), slugging percentage (.444), and OPS (.807)? If you guessed Jason Kubel... you’re wrong.

It’s Alexi Casilla.

I know—you might retort that Casilla has a smaller sample-size due to having fewer at-bats than some regular regulars, or that these stats aren't advanced enough, or the fact Casilla led May in all these categories just shows how bad the 2011 Twins are. But Casilla actually has been looking confident and playing well lately—take advantage of a hot streak. Casilla's certainly looking MUCH better right now than Trevor Plouffe, who has been repeatedly failing to catch the ball, repeatedly air-mailing throws, and repeatedly not hitting.

Over the past week I've seen many people suggest benching Casilla and starting Plouffe instead, but there is simply no reason to be doing that right now.

Nishioka Nearing Return

Tsuyoshi Nishioka played in his first extended spring training game last Saturday at shortstop, and he got a hit his first two at-bats, ultimately going 2 for 3 with one RBI. On Monday Nishi went 0 for 3 playing second base, but did turn a double play without breaking a leg. The training staff has been helping build Nishioka's instinct to jump while throwing to first on a double play—something not normally needed in Japan—apparently by chucking big rubber balls at him.

The Japanese media originally reported that Tsuyoshi would return to the majors on June 9th, but it appears it could be a couple days later. After running out a grounder to shortstop at full-speed on Monday, Nishioka told reporters, "I wanted to test my condition during the game. I still feel a sense of discomfort. After I finished running, I still felt some pain."

In any case, it appears Nishioka will be back within the next two weeks, and probably before Mauer—who is still suffering from some mysterious knee problem/leg weakness/flu. It makes me worried, knowing Mauer is never one to not want to play, not work hard, and not want to be back ASAP.

In any case, here is a photo of Nishi and Joe exchanging hellos at practice on Tuesday.

Mom's Finnish Language Lesson

Mom, who is from a large Finnish family, says there is a word in the Finnish language that means "ish," "ew," or "yuck." The word is "hyi"—pronounced quite a lot like "Hoey."

Remembering Harm'

2011-05-27T00:41:00.032-05:00

For the Twins and Twins fans, this week has mainly been about celebrating the life of Harmon Killebrew.

Wearing 3s

On Monday night—the first home game since Harmon’s passing—everyone was encouraged to wear number 3’s in Harmon’s honor. I visited Harmon’s statue before the game, where it was surprisingly quiet for the amount of people gathered there.

I was very impressed with the amount of people who wore 3's.

Denard Span got in the spirit before the game, signing many autographs for fans.

The team also paid tribute.

Harmon Killebrew's Memorial

Tonight, the team held a memorial for Harmon. I visited Harmon's statue before the game, and there were even more flowers and notes left. I also noticed, however, several people had taken single flowers out of bouquets and left a few at Kirby's statue. That was very touching to me—what a wonderful organization with the best fans in the world.

I assume those who care watched the memorial themselves. All I can say is this:

My favorite part was when Thome surprised us, sitting in the 523 ft. seat.

The saddest part was when sir Rodney Carew broke down crying at the podium, while recalling his last visit with Harmon.

The most touching part was when Nita—Harmon's wife—gave us his last days, his last words, and his last expression of how thankful he was for his fans.

Nita: You thought you couldn't do public speaking—but you did so, so well. You definietly made Harmon proud.

Other Pictures:

Hank Arron, Jim Kaat, and Michael Cuddyer

Mudcat Grant sings "It's a Wonderful World"

Cuddyer, Morneau, and Tolbert.

Love for Number Three.

Cuddyer steps up to speak

Fans, players, family, and 3.

Baseball listeners.

Thome mourns.

Nita Killebrew.

Thome and Hank.

Hank and Thome celebrate Harmon Killebrew.

www.HarmonKillebrewFoundation.org

www.StandUp2Cancer.org

Some other bloggers have also shared their thoughts, check it out:
SethSpeaks.net: Thoughts on the Killebrew Tribute
North Dakota Twins Fan: My View of Killebrew's Memorial

Flight of Twins Fans

2011-05-23T00:55:00.030-05:00

“I went to all three games!”

“All the pitches he threw right over the plate today and Kubel didn’t even swing at any of them.”

“That Delmon...”

“Oh my god, that was the most disgusting bathroom ever!” the leathery-tanned lady sitting next to me tells her apparent husband. She has been complaining the whole flight. She’s literally now hyperventilating. Or crying. She’s clutching her copy of the ‘Arizona Reporter’.

Probably not Minnesotan.

I’m sitting in the window seat with two empty cans of Leinenkugel's. She’s not drinking, and she has been giving me some disgusted looks. Of all people, of course, she’s the one I get to sit next to.

Clearly not a Minnesotan Twins fan.

This Sun Country flight returning from Phoenix to Minnesota late Sunday is full of Twins fans. Hats, shirts, jerseys, and bags. Everyone’s talking, everyone’s smiling—and yes, even though the Twins actually lost all three games in Arizona against the ‘D-Backs’.

But they were close games. They were exciting games. And Twins fans were certainly there to enjoy them.

The Crowd at Chase Field when the TWINS Score

I went to the Twins game against the Diamondbacks Saturday at Chase Field (yes, with some pretty sweet seats as a law school graduation gift!). AT LEAST forty to fifty percent of the fans there were Twins fans—which I suppose isn’t all that surprising. Phoenix is home to many Midwestern transplants and retirees. Everyone must have gone down to visit their grandma/mom/dad/uncle/grant aunt/etc. and conveniently take in the Twins game at the same time (including myself).

At this point, I could do a run down of the Twins' games on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday—but that has been done elsewhere. Let me point out my favorite fan experiences at Chase Field on Saturday.

1. Racing of the Legends

Ok, this is really awesome.

Sort of like the sausages in Milwaukee—except even better. Arizona has over-sized Diamondback Legends—Luis Gonzales, Randy Johnson, Mark Grace, and Matt Williams—run a race every game. Then afterward, they go all around the stands cheering on with the fans.

2. Awesome Scoreboard Backgrounds

Chase Field used awesome team-location backgrounds on the scoreboard when announcing all the Twins players. For example:

Target Field

Mall of America

Cherry and Spoon (I know this is a terrible picture!)

Bridge!

3. Scotty Baker is a Monster

Okay, okay... I personally got a kick out of that.

4. So Glad Target Field Has No Roof What-So-Ever

Chase Field has a retractable roof, because Arizona gets pretty inhospitable during the summer time and air-conditioning is needed. Someone on Twitter compared it to the Milwaukee Brewers' stadium. I've never been there.

However, having been to Chase Field once before Target Field opened, and now, I can say I am supremely happy Target Field has no retractable roof. A lot of structure is needed for a retractable roof, which makes the stadium lose that real outdoor feeling. It's like pretending your car with a sunroof is a convertible.

The girl behind me on this flight, now, however, has most her sock stuck up between the window and my seat. A little gross to some, maybe—but she is wearing a Morneau shirt.

And a two (or so) year old child in front of me just screamed for the first time this whole flight—and the leather-tanned woman next to me grabbed her husband's leg in annoyance. The boy keeps looking back at me, but I just smile at him, which makes him smile. And he's wearing a Joe Mauer shirt too.

Then, of course, we are about to land, and the PA comes on:

"On behalf of Sun County Airlines, we welcome you back to the Twin Cities.

"And if you're just visiting, we hope you enjoy your stay."

Being Harmon Killebrew

2011-05-17T13:36:00.008-05:00

I never got to watch Harmon Killebrew play. As a Minnesotan child of the ‘80s, I watched a different hero. But I have always been aware of who Harmon Killebrew was, and what he did, because Harmon was my Mom’s hero, and my Mom is the reason I love baseball.

She has told me her stories many times. Growing up as the youngest of ten children on a dairy farm in northern Minnesota, my Mom and her older brother would listen to games on the radio and act them out in the yard. Her brother—the second youngest, but still seven years older than her—always got to be Harmon Killebrew. “I had to be Bob Allison,” Mom always says.

In 2006, the Twins won the AL Central on the last day of the season, giving them home field advantage against the A’s in the first round of the playoffs. At one of the games, my Mom saw Harmon sitting in the stands a few sections away. Fans didn’t recognize him. My Mom—in her Harmon Killebrew throwback jersey—approached him after the game. “Harmon, you have always been my hero,” she said. She told him her story about acting out the games as a girl. Of course, Harmon replied, “Bob Allison was a great player to be.” And even though he doesn’t usually sign jerseys, he signed her jersey.

My Mom wore that jersey to the Twins game last Friday, and when she turned her back and they put her on the jumbotron at the end of the game, everybody cheered. My Mom didn’t even realize she was on the jumbotron. I had to explain to her that’s why everyone was just cheering.

Of course, the secret is, my Mom, as a girl, also used to pretend to play baseball in the yard by herself, when her brothers were not around. And then, she got to be Harmon Killebrew.

I had the pleasure of meeting Harmon Killebrew while attending a charity banquet for the Harmon Killebrew Foundation several years ago. It is a great charity, and I urge fans to give something in Harmon’s honor, if you can. It would be the type of thing Harmon would do—and we would all be better people if we tried to be even just a little more like Harmon Killebrew.

Thank you, Harmon, for playing the game, and more importantly, being such a wonderful person.

When it Rains, it Pours (but not quite long enough)

2011-05-11T01:38:00.017-05:00

Yeah, okay, God hates the Twins. We get it.

For a second during tonight’s game, though, it looked like God might be on the Twins side. Detroit had already piled on 5 runs by the fourth inning, but the sky had suddenly become very ominous. It took on a greenish tint, and the temperature dropped. Rain drops started to fall. I prayed, prayed to god, that it would start pouring before it reached the 5th inning and this became a game.

Sure enough, in the bottom of the 4th, there were a few flashes of lightening, and second base umpire Jerry Lane started walking in.

Target Field’s second ever rain delay! My Mom immediately bolted up to the Metropolitan Club (where she later reported more bars were added over the off-season, and so “it’s a lot easier to get drinks”… and I definitely believed her), but I stayed behind to see what everyone decided to do during the rain delay.

And then it started to hail.

And then a fan decided to run onto the field at the height of the hail storm, which was, sadly, the best part of the entire game.

It was looking pretty good for the Twins… except then it ‘miraculously’ stopped hailing, stopped raining, and the sunset started to come out again.

The field was a total mess—the equivalent of being covered with marbles and golf balls. So obviously that had to be cleaned up, which it was (#$%#%) by a very hard working grounds crew with super awesome tractor-blower things, rakes, shovels, and buckets.

By the time the game got back underway I was still waiting for my Parmesan-garlic fries inside of Hrbek’s, where everyone was infinitely more interested in the Red Wings-Sharks game. In fact, I think there was a mini-riot when workers tried to change the TVs back to the Twins game.

I was impressed with how many fans actually stayed through the rain delay, but as the game wore on, and it got late, the vast majority of them left—which I actually liked even more. By the end of the game all of the nay-sayers, Debbie-downers, and ‘I don’t really watch baseball I’m just rich and this is the place to be seen’ people were gone. The fans who were there were the ones who were still enjoying themselves. They were the ones who weren't going to let rain, hail, or even the 2011 god-damn Twins ruin their night. I could even hear the enjoyable hecklers come out again, the type I haven’t been able to hear since the Metrodome.

On the way home, I said to my Mom, “You know, that was a horrible game... but I had a lot of fun tonight.” She agreed. So hopefully that can be the silver lining—finding a way to use the game as an excuse for having a good time.

Like that kid who ran on the field in the height of the hail storm, because that was awesome.

The Qualia of Baseball

2011-05-10T15:34:00.015-05:00

Consider the following two ideas:

On the left, we have red—a wavelength of light, measured in nanometers, which the typical human retina perceives as red. On the right, we have, well, red. So these are both ideas of red, ideas of the same thing. One might argue that the idea on the left is the “real,” objective idea of red. But could a blind person study the idea on the left and be able to really know what red is? Wouldn’t their idea of red still be missing something very real?

This issue is the type philosophers like to talk about, and when they do, they use the term “qualia” (or “quale” in the singular) to refer to the type of thing the blind person is missing. Qualia are the actual substances of our subjective conscious experiences. They are the indescribable way things look, taste, and feel.

Baseball fans like to talk about the same type of issue. Except baseball fans use statistics, and terms like “intangibles.”

And I find it very curious that there seems to be an entire subset of baseball fans who don’t even think “intangibles” exist, let alone matter, when it comes to playing and winning baseball games.

Don’t get me wrong—as I always stress, I think baseball statistics can be very useful and insightful. The same can be said about measuring the wavelengths of the light we perceive as red. But statistics are only one piece of the picture, and in my opinion, a relatively small piece.

Baseball fans sometimes seem to lose sight of the fact baseball is a game played by people, not numbers. Players all have different personalities: they gain confidence—and lose confidence—from different sources and in different situations, both on and off the field. They get sick and injured. They can get distracted by marital problems, other hobbies, or maybe even the weather. And these things can affect how a player acts, and how a player acts affects how he plays.

Good managers stay aware of these things. They build relationships with their players and try to figure out what makes them tick. They keep up with how their players are feeling, both physically and mentally. They use this information along with more technical aspects to try and predict how they can get their players to perform at their best. These things are real, and they do actually matter. The world is a complex place.

“Intangibles” are only labeled as such because most fans don’t have access to the information needed to understand them. Fans don’t think they exist because they can only be in-artfully explained. It’s like trying to explain to a blind person what the quale of red is. Just because it can’t exactly be done doesn’t mean the quale of red doesn’t exist or matter.

All of this is an attempt to explain why I disagree with arguments such as “teams do not benefit from naming one pitcher as closer and then limiting use of that player to closing situations.” Steve Adams wrote an interesting critique involving this point over at Twinkie Town earlier today titled "Managerial Madness". I respectfully disagree. Maybe the team would be better if Matt Capps could be called in to pitch in every situation that, in hindsight, might have given the Twins a better chance to win. Maybe the Twins would be better served by a “closer-by-committee” type approach.

But maybe they wouldn’t.

I found some interesting stuff in this article published in the Tampa Bay Times last year after the Rays acquired Rafael Soriano to be their closer. The Rays didn’t have a closer for the majority of 2009. The article noted:

The Rays tried it, and tried it, and tried it, without a true closer last season — at least not after Troy Percival wore out in May — and it showed. Relying on manager Joe Maddon's matchup style and riding Howell until he wore down, they had a major-league-high nine pitchers record saves, their 22 blown saves were third most in the AL and their 65.1 save percentage ranked eighth.

Also telling: Their relievers worked an AL-low 457 1/3 innings but made a league-high 510 appearances.

The plan was taxing physically and mentally as the relievers had to prepare for numerous situations on a nightly, and sometimes several times a night, basis. "I think that kind of took its toll on us last year," Wheeler said. "If you can gear up for one area, it's not as draining."

…

The benefit should be obvious, starter James Shields said.

"I think one of the problems we had last year was that those guys in the bullpen didn't really have a role, they didn't really understand when they were coming in," he said. "Having Soriano, knowing we're going to have a closer, these guys are going to feel a little more comfortable."

That comfort factor is important, Wheeler said, suggesting a return to the format that worked so well for much of the 2008 championship season — matchups early and Percival at the end.

"It will help us out knowing if we have a lead in the ninth inning we're not going to have to have a couple guys up," Wheeler said. "We're going to have one guy going out there — win or lose, he's our guy."

Of course, does this mean having a closer is always the best way to go? No—but it doesn’t mean not having one is always going to make the team better either. Naming one player as closer can have real benefits, they just aren’t the kind you can fully explain using statistics. The best approach depends on the particular personalities on the team, and I know Gardy knows a lot more about that than me. Gardy is a good manager. He's not perfect, but no baseball manager can be.

I’m not the manager. I’m not a scientist. But I’m not blind, and I am, thankfully, a baseball fan. I like focusing on that aspect. To each their own, I don't mean to bash stat-heads, but I wanted to put this out there for people to consider.

Why do you watch baseball?

2011-05-04T19:18:00.010-05:00

It’s about a month into the baseball season and the Twins… aren’t exactly playing like we all had hoped. Personally, I’ve been fascinated by the differing reactions amongst Twins fans. At one end of the spectrum, you would think there is no reason to even continue living, let alone watching. At the other, you’d think life as a Twins fan is going just as dandy as it always has.

Let me tell a story: In the past two months, I have undergone more stress than I ever have in my entire life. None of it has to do with the Twins, mind you. But somehow I managed to reach stress levels I didn’t even think I was capable of reaching. I’m talking can’t-physically-sleep, can’t-physically-hold-down-breakfast, I-think-I-should-go-to-the-hospital-but-I-can’t-take-another-hospital-bill type stress levels. I’m sure the amount of adrenaline consistently running through my body shaved at least a decade off my life. It got so bad last week I couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t sit still, all I could do was go outside and start running. Running. Truly one of those “Forest Gump wasn’t actually that dumb, was he?” type moments.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been there.

At the end of the day, though, the thing that has carried me through all this is baseball. Yes, even Twins baseball, as it is being played now. It might sound extremely corny, but I frankly don’t give a damn. I don’t watch baseball because I ever played it (I haven’t). I don’t watch because I think I’m smarter or know more than the professional management/front office (I don’t). I don’t get particular excited about crunching advanced statistics (but kudos to those who do, and apologizes if I have ever gotten frustrated with you). And I definitely don’t watch because I expect the Twins to always win. I just expect the Twins to play, and for me to watch, and to be able to—at least for couple hours—think about something other than all the actual things that are driving me crazy.

Don’t get me wrong—I want the Twins to win. But Twins’ wins are not why I love baseball, or even why I watch.

I keep watching baseball because of unpredictable moments like this, or like this. I keep watching just because I enjoy watching.

What now seems like so many years ago, my college baseball history professor (seriously) made us read, “Can’t Anyone Here Play This Game?” by Jimmy Breslin. It remains, to this day, my favorite book about baseball. It’s really short, and I suggest you read it. If you aren’t the bookish type, just go on the internet and search for “1962 Mets” and just read whatever comes up. (It helps having background knowledge on this topic/culture, but that’s for another day).

So I suppose we all have our different motivations for watching the game. There isn’t any actual right or wrong reason to keep watching. All I can say is why I watch, and I watch because I look forward to turning on my radio every night with the hope that things will get better, and if them don’t today, I can always look forward to tomorrow. Baseball is unpredictable. It's always a positive thing. It keeps me going.

Why do you watch baseball?

The Boys are Finally Back in Town!

2011-04-08T19:20:00.051-05:00

Well guys--I totally had the day off today. I spent much of it at Target Field. Then I went to a fellowship function with an open bar. So I'm feeling pretty EXCELLENT at the moment.

I want to give you all a run down of opening day. And I want to try and convey how it felt. Here it goes.

BOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcashee

Now presenting, your NEW batter's eye (the crowd screams)

As long as it prevents Justin Morneau from suffering another concussion, it's fine (I have dubbed it, "The Black Hole").

Here is the Twins' new "Boundary Stone":

Not as distracting as I thought. It's ok.

BOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcashee

Massive amounts of Japanese reporters are on the field for the A's batting practice.

It's hard to convey through pictures--but there a lot of Japanese reporters. I knew there would be a lot, but I didn't expect such ubiquity. Many likely for Nishi, but Hideki Matsui-who plays for the A's now--garners a lot of Japanese media attention himself.

In fact, Nishi and Hideki met for a 30 second exchange just after the lineups were announced:

(MSN Japanese has great photos of Nishioka and Matsui too)

I digress...

BOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcashee

AND NOW--FOR YOUR MINNESOTA TWINS!

RAWWWHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Nishioka got the second biggest ovation during the opening (behind Joe Nathan's). (Although, the more unexpected part was the loud cheering his interpreter, Ryo, got when he was introduced with the coaches).

(Oliva's son and Zilio Versalles' daughter, who can be seen in the above pic, did an EXCELLENT job with the national anthem--as excepted after their performance during last year's play-offs and such)

BOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcashee

Moment of silence for Japan.

Thank you.

BOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcasheeBOOMBOOMcashee

AND NOW! John Gordon will raise our national flag!

(And for the last time--he's never going to be Vin Scully. No one else will ever be Vin Scully. Stop complaining.)

Joining John Gordon is World War II veteran, Retired Cpl. Harold Kurvers! Kurvers is one of the few survivors of the Bataan Death March in 1942.

Kurvers was one of 75,000 other American and Filipino prisoners of war who endured great abuse at the hands of the Japanese Empire. Few prisoners survived. The Japanese forces beat them with sticks and.... UM--AWKWARD. Let's move on!

WOO TWINS BASEBALL!!!

Justin Morneau got his 1,000th hit!

MORE YES (and no, that's not a picture of his hit, but that's Morneau on first!)!

Here's the new scoreboard and tower in action:

The tower isn't as bad as I pictured. I think it might be unnecessary at this point.... but who cares.

As you can see, the stadium was absolutely PACKED:

MORE IMPORTANTLY--we are now counting down until Bert's official Hall of Fame induction--as if you thought we weren't.

FIVE MORE GAMES! FIVE MORE GAMES! Wait--what? FIFTY?

There is also a new sign showing Thome's number of career homeruns, but that's really more of a "count up"

(Click to Enlarge)
Thome doing extra exercises before the game to stay loose; his "count up" can be seen just below the "Field" part of the Twnkie and Paul sign.

Then Twins play the game, yadda yadda (read a much less influenced and better report on that elsewhere).

The important part was when the Twins scored two in the 8th to go ahead by one. Joe Mauer provided the game winning RBI, which I captured in the video below.

Check out the excitement in the crowd! Baseball everyone! Baseball!!

Joe Nathan made his first in-game appearance ever at Target Field when he came in to pitch the 9th inning. Fans were quite excited to stand up and shout!

Apparently, I learned while reading Ball Park Magic's great rundown on opening day, at some point here, Nathan took out the dirt he had saved from the Metrodome and sprinkled it on the mound at Target Field. It was for luck, and apparently it worked!

Oddly enough, I actually have videos of both of Joe Nathan's two most recent saves at home.

Wow... certainly glad Nathan's back!

I'm glad all my boys are all finally back!

GO TWINS! I'm so excited for 2011!

Lost in Translation?

2011-02-23T20:36:00.054-06:00

Spring training is now officially here!

Beyond Mauer’s knees and Blackburn once again getting ‘Blackburned’ (a.k.a. ‘Bobby Abreued’) in the face, the biggest news story out of spring training so far has been, not surprisingly, Tsuyoshi Nishioka’s transition from Japan to the U.S. and Major League Baseball.

Most U.S. coverage of Nishi and his arrival in Florida (which, by the way, was way back on February 6th) has centered around the huge number of Japanese media members following him everywhere and the fact he worked out mostly alone, sans Twins gear, up until today. Some U.S. media members called him a prima donna, a distraction. Then, when Nishi actually did take an informal batting practice with Thome, Cuddy, and Kubel, the Star Tribune’s Jim Souhan commented: “When Nishioka moved toward the batting cage on a back field at Twins camp on Sunday, a dozen reporters aimed cameras and phones at him, and ignored future Hall of Famer Jim Thome as he walked through their midst.”

I know this needs no reiteration—but Souhan is an idiot.

Of course, the Japanese media is focused on their native son, Tsuyoshi. That's the real story here (especially for them). Besides, how many of the Japanese reporters know English? I'd think some, I do not know. But to think Japanese baseball followers do not know who Jim Thome is?

News Flash: The Japanese are, and have already been, Major League Baseball fans too. This isn’t nearly as new to them as it is to us.

With the help of my new best friend—Google Translate—I have been reading the reports all those Japanese media members have been grinding out. (And, yes, it’s sort of weird being able to find more Twins reports in Japanese than in English). Let me tell you, the batting practice with Thome was definitely a headliner.

For example:

西岡　メジャー５８９発男からスイング絶賛 ("Praise for Nishioka from a man swing from measures 589!"): "Nishioka bat, which measures 589 from wow man." (Yeah--Google Translate is far from perfect--but I kinda get a sense for what a sentence with 589 [Thome's career homeruns] and 'wow man' means).

ツ軍トーミも西岡に「いつでも力貸す」 ("Thome also Nishioka's Team "force to lend at any time"): "Twins second baseman Nishioka Tsuyoshi (26), but was overwhelmed by slugger Thome 589 career home runs eighth largest in history. February 20 (21 Japan time), participated in joint training camp fielder. ... In particular, witnessed the appearance of a rapid succession over the fence Thome just lightly swinging, and Nishioka said, 'I'm a major, which made me feel like' his eyes widened."

jiji.com: Picture of Nishi batting--with Thome perfectly placed in the background (right).

Etc.

Tsuyoshi was happy and honored for the experience. “He [Thome] is as nice as Igutchi [his former White Sox teammate] said he was,” Nishioka said (or, at least, I imagine that’s what he said).

But that’s not all...

While Google translating the latest Japanese reports on Nishioka, I came across a Japanese Baseball Message Board—where I found Japanese fans Yahoo Translating American reports on Nishioka by La Velle E. Neal III! (Note: The doubled red-writing in the last link is the Japanese translating, but because I found the page with my Japanese to English translator on, it all appears in English).

And they apparently seemed a bit perturbed by the fact Nishioka’s interpreter could not explain the meaning of the new uniform day, and why Nishi was not wearing his new team gear before today. I guess, the first day wearing a new uniform is special in Japan and/or to Nishioka personally. Nishioka had decided early on his first day in the new uniform would be the first official workout on February 23rd. This wasn't a thing of superiority--this was a thing of great honor, respect, and commitment.

The Japanese media might be centered on their hometown boy--but the Twins are now their hometown-boy's team, and now their team. Do you really think all of those reporters are just covering Tsuyoshi? They've reported about Bert Blyleven's HOF entrance; the re-signings of Thome, Pavano, Young, etc.; Morneau's concussion; even about the trees in the outfield being chopped down.

We're all a team now--go Twins (移動ツインズ)!!!

P.S.
Please view my blog post from December 9th, in which I introduce--multiple times--the song fans should have been learning instead of moaning about the J.J. Hardy trade. (Really--great guy, but let's keep in mind that he was injured a lot in 2010).

KARE 11 Airing Profile on Tsuyoshi Nishioka (Feb. 3 & Feb. 7)

2011-02-02T09:50:00.012-06:00

西岡がメジャーへ始動「ルーキーの気持ちで」
(Oka Nishi major start to "the feeling of Rookie")

In case you haven’t heard, KARE 11 will be running a two-part profile on Tsuyoshi Nishioka on Thursday, February 3rd, and Monday, February 7th, both at 10pm CT. That's right--KARE 11 actually got around to sending reporters out to Japan to interview Nishioka and learn more about him.

If watching KARE 11 isn't your thing, you can get more Nishioka in your life by immediately driving down to MSP International and finding where all the Japanese reporters are staked out--because as I type, Nishioka is on a plane heading to Minneapolis! I had heard he wanted to be in the US by early February to avoid any jet-lag at camp, not to mention he probably needs to get the Minneapolis house he and his wife plan to share situated. Hope he brought his long johns.

And a note on TwinsFest--I unfortunately don't have any pictures. Why? Because I didn't go. My Mom and I had two tickets, and we were about to go... but then we realized we were both broke, that the parking was bad, the place sounded absolutely packed, I had a ton of law school work, and it was in freaking Blaine. I've heard mixed reports about how it fared, but I hope those that did go had a good time.

UPDATE:

Nishi's here!! ツインズの西岡、米国入り　「早く暖かいフロリダへ」 (per Google Translate, my new BFF):

AP - Minneapolis. Oka Nishi 3-year contract with Major League Baseball - Twins hand Takeshi Utino reviews (26) February 2, arrived in Minneapolis on direct flights from Narita Airport. The impact of cold wave that hit the Midwest, freezing temperatures have frozen negative 18 degrees, "though it is cold, it was expected after that conference when I joined," said bright.

Upon arrival, tired and healed 100 + reviews Oka Nishi is ready for life in the United States and three days of house-hunting. In 5 days he will enter the Twins camp in Florida, "I want to practice in the warm Florida early" and seemed not wait.

Light Someone's Shoelaces on Fire...

2011-01-05T13:18:00.019-06:00

... because Bert Blyleven is a 2011 MLB Hall of Fame inductee!!

Yes, the Master of the Hot Foot (GREAT instructional video starring Bert himself) was finally elected to MLB's HOF today, receiving 79.7% of the vote. He will be inducted along with Roberto Alomar.

Per Minnesota Twins on Facebook, here is a current picture of Target Field's scoreboard:

Who wants to bet the new bronze statute at Target Field of an unknown player will be Bert Blyleven? The three current players with bronze statutes at Target Field are the Twins' Hall of Famers--Harmon Killebrew, Rod Carew, and Kirby Puckett.

In honor of Bert's accomplishments, I provide the following videos for your enjoyment.

Lest we forget Bert's distinguished broadcasting career:

Congratulations Bert!!

Huh? Why Didn't They Have Twins Fest at MOA?

2010-12-31T19:57:00.018-06:00

The red chair in MOA, commemorating the longest home-run hit in Twins history, by Harmon Killebrew at Met Stadium (where the Mall of America now stands).

Harmon Killebrew has cancer,* and they don’t even move Twins Fest to Mall of America? Killebrew Drive? On top of Old Met Stadium, where he and the Twins and the Vikings played? Hello?

I haven’t been to Mall of America in a few years, but I can’t imagine there isn’t empty space there. Seriously, has anyone been on the 4th floor of MOA lately? I bet there’s a lot of space up there.

The Twins must be scaling back this year’s Twins Fest activities in light of the Metrodome Collapse. Personally, I was really looking forward to visiting my beloved Metrodome, so it’s a real bummer. But they could have made it big at MOA. Even I feel like I should go visit home-plate in the middle of the amusement park formerly known as Camp Snoopy.

I suppose maybe (?) the crowds will be smaller in Blaine—if I make it out there?

Seriously though—why didn’t they have it at Mall of America?

* I’ve been a little emotional about this all day, and am not ready to address it yet on my blog. Thanks for understanding.

EDIT:
If you are feeling charitable, give to the Harmon Killebrew Foundation. I have gone to his charity golf tournament banquet, and I know his foundation really does a great job helping disabled children, so it certainly is worth giving to.

What the Japanese Media Thinks about What Minnesotans Think about Tsuyoshi Nishioka (and another potential Japanese teammate?)

2010-12-23T19:29:00.017-06:00

Guess what—the Japanese are even reading Aaron Gleeman now too! Although they seem to think Gleeman's .275 BA hopeful expectation for Nishioka funny.

The Japanese media has been very impressed with what we would call “Minnesota Nice.” While Nishioka was visiting Minnesota this past week, many Japanese media outlets reported about the awesome VIP treatment he received. One news outlet proclaimed that we gave Nishioka the best welcome any Japanese player has ever gotten—and all of this was particularly because GM Bill Smith himself drove Nishioka around during his visit. (西岡に超異例のＶＩＰ待遇！ツインズＧＭが運転手に！！ (“Oka Nishi extraordinary super VIP treatment! GM Twins are the driver! !”)) This article said they had never heard of a GM himself driving players around, that Nishioka was very happy, and then described the reception past Japanese stars have received in America—all involving large crowds and police escorts. Hmmm… I guess police escorts aren’t soo welcoming?

The Japanese also reported that Tozawa Hidenori—the head chef at Nami restaurant, near Target Field—has created the “Rock’n Roll” sushi roll in honor of Tsuyoshi coming to the Twin Cities. The restaurant is reportedly Ichiro’s favorite place to visit here in the Cities.

The Japanese media was also impressed with Gardy bringing his “Survival Japanese” book Nishioka’s press conference. Andrew from Off the Mark posted a few weeks ago that the organization gave Gardy lots of Japanese language learning tools for Christmas.

And it might be a good investment—I came across a headline reading “小林宏もツインズ！？打診認めた” (“Hiroyuki Kobayashi Twins too!? Consultation revealed”). A fellow-teammate from Tsuyoshi’s champion Chiba Lotte Marines is also looking to come to the U.S., and apparently the Twins expressed some interest. And good news if it’s true—Hiroyuki is a relief pitcher, something the Twins really need! Is this guy any good? Might as well get our money’s worth from the Japanese translator!

Anyways, it sounds like Nishioka and his wife really enjoyed their visit, and—despite the freakish large amount of snow—are looking forward to living here. Nishioka’s wife, Tokuzawa Naoko, is a famous Japanese model. The couple spent Saturday searching for a new home in Minneapolis.

Nishioka also expressed interst in coming back to the Cities for Twins Fest at the end of Janurary—which brings up the inevitable question of whether the Metrodome will be ready in time. I personally hope so. I would love to go back and visit the dome, and I bet our new Japanese friends might like it too. Remember the video I posted of Nishioka playing in the bizarre-o Metrodome? That’s actually the Tokyo Dome, and it was inspired by the Metrodome!

I told you Japanese fans are the best!

(P.S.: Video of workers shooting shotguns into the Metrodome Roof!)

It's Official: Nishioka is a Twin, Will Most Likely Wear #1

2010-12-17T15:40:00.015-06:00

西岡、主力級待遇！「１」からのスタート！

(Nishioka, the main class treatment! "1" from the start!)

I'm also officially addicted to Google Translating Japanese media reports.

According to LEN3, the Twins will have a press conference TOMORROW at 4PM!

Old news over here at Kirby's Left Eye!

Tsuyoshi is most likely back at his hotel now after visiting Target Field. Fifteen or so Japanese reporters waited for him outside. At least one Japanese news outlet is reporting that Tsuyoshi loved Target Field, is excited to play there, and is determined to exceed expectations.

TSUYOSHI NISHIOKA (arrived and practically signed in Minnesota)!!

2010-12-16T21:01:00.045-06:00

Who cares about all the endless Vikings drama?

(So stylish--Thanks Jessica!)

TSUYOSHI NISHIOKA is here!!!

Earlier today Tsuyoshi and his wife (a Japanese model) touched down at MSP international with at least a dozen Japanese media members in tow (who conveniently knew how to speak both Japanese and English). American reporters say that Japanese reporters told them that when Nishioka arrived here, he said, “I’m cold.”

(KARE 11)

But he also said, “I’m very excited to be here. I already have my number picked out.” (Nishioka was number 7 in Japan, so he will be taking on a new number). Although not officially confirmed by the Twins, Nishioka and many outside sources have confirmed his contract with Minnesota. Sources say the Twins will officially announce the signing tomorrow or Saturday.

Nishioka, 26 years old, was the Japanese batting champion in 2010 for the Chiba Lotte Marines, and has won the Japanese equivalent of the Golden Glove at Second Base and Short Stop. Tsuyoshi has expressed a great desire to play for the Twins.

UPDATE:
A friend sent me this Asahi news article with information about Tsuyoshi. Unfortunately it's all in Japanese. However, using Google Translate I think I was able to discern that the article says Tsuyoshi will be examined Friday the 17th, with a press conference afterward. (There's also ads underneath the article with a links to buy MLB tickets! Yes!!)

UPDATE UPDATE:
After searching characters from the article sent to me, I've found many other Japanese news articles with some more information. This article seems to indicate Tsuyoshi knows the bloggers are weary of him because he is unproven, but he is determined to change that and impress the fans.

This article seems to indicate Tsuyoshi saw the video of the Metrodome roof collapse and he had some concern over the cold. It also says that Tsuyoshi was always aware Joe Mauer had number 7, and that he seems to think getting a new number on a new team isn't a big deal. (The accompanying picture proves that he does in fact have a very hot model wife).

In this article, Tsuyoshi apparently says that he thinks the biggest adjustment for him will be playing on natural grass. All the teams play on turf in Japan.

This article says that when Nishioka asked about the Twins and was told the Twins are contenders almost every year, Nishioka was very excited. It also talks a lot about how Nishioka will likely face Boston Red Sox Pitcher Matsuzaka in his first exhibition game as a Twin in spring training. Matsuzaka says he is excited for the Japanese matchup. The article also includes a quote from "Gadenhaia director," something about battling tails off.

And HERE is a video of Tsuyoshi arriving at Minneapolis-St. Paul International. Some idiot asks Tsuyoshi a question in English. The video also shows pictures of all the snow, and Tsuyoshi was surprised by everything being so white. There are also lots of bewildered Minnesotans in the background wondering what the hell is going on.

THIS IS SO FUN! Do I really get to pseudo translate Japanese news articles for the next three years?

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE:

This Japanese news site is now reporting the deal is final and the press conference will be held tomorrow at 4pm. Let us see how well Japanese reporters and Google translate actually work.

Rest in Peace, Bob Feller

2010-12-15T22:04:00.003-06:00

I remember meeting Bob Feller at least twice, at two different Twins Fests. He came to Twins Fest with his own table, representing the Baseball Hall of Fame (I think?). Not many knew who he was, so you could stand there and talk to him.

Awesome, awesome guy. Rest in peace, Bob Feller.

Ever Wonder What It Looks Like Inside the Metrodome while the Roof is Collapsing?

2010-12-12T13:13:00.001-06:00

Hardy's Gone; and Tsuyoshi.... ?

2010-12-09T18:44:00.018-06:00

This morning it was announced that the Twins traded shortstop JJ Hardy and Brendan Harris to the Orioles for two pitching prospects. Predictably, Twins fans on the internet started freaking out—you know, because the Twins’ front office changed something.

If you’re a loyal reader of my blog (if those actually exist), you might have picked up by now that I don’t pretend to sit here and know more about how to run the team than the professionals. Do I agree with every single move? No. But do I trust that the people who actual have contact with the players, the accounting books, and the agents are probably able to make much better and more realistic decisions than I am? Yes.

You can’t change the lineup without actually changing the lineup. Change is good. You can’t make significant gains without taking some significant risks. This is a part of baseball. This is a part of life.

Besides--as a fan, I don’t even have the time to be upset about the Twins trading J.J. Hardy. I’m way too busy doing my job, which is learning how to sing this:

LETS GO! SPEED STAR! TSUYOSHI NISHIOKA!

We all know this must be immanent. Can't we just be excited!?!

TSUYOSHI! SPEED STAR! TSUYOSHI NISHIOKA!

Check out this one in the Tokyo Dome (an away game):

It's like the bizarro Metrodome.

AND, look at this:

It's like he's using the Mauer Quick Swing!

TSUYOSHI NISHIOKA!

(BTW--I think Tsuyoshi should take #1... I dunno it anyone has broken this to him yet.)

The Twins are Blowing $4-6 M on Target Field ‘Upgrades’!

2010-11-11T20:44:00.017-06:00

Most rabid Twins fans are already aware of the team’s payroll issues for 2011. With everyone (except Punto :( ) getting a big old raise, money is tight. However, money is apparently not tight enough to stop the Twins from blowing $4-6 million on “needed” improvements to Target Field. WTF!?

The “improvements” include:

- A second electronic scoreboard being added above the bleachers in right field, so all those fans in left field who weren’t paying attention can now see replays.

- A 100-foot-tall LED-illuminated tower that architect Tom Oslund apparently believes will “create a terminus at the end of Target Plaza that would draw people further into the space and have the ability to be a landmark on the cityscape of Minneapolis.” (Stop—I already looked up the definition of “Terminus.” It’s a Latin word meaning “boundary stone” used by annoying people.)

- Even more Kramarczuks stands, to appease all those fans who boycott Schwigerts hot dogs due to them crushing their life long dreams of being in the Hormel Row of Fame (i.e. myself).

- Addressing customer service issues, which I hope includes firing that Game Day guy who is mean to my Mom (seriously, how are you about to yell at a sweet lady who put her drink down on your counter for just one second so she could get out her money to pay you?)

- More heaters for the outfield seats, because the Twins management has no faith and fails to believe that God (a.k.a. global warming) will no longer make Minnesota excessively cold now that the Twins play outside. (Seriously—I walked to the store today, November 11, in my Spam flip flops.)

- Providing fans with free wireless internet, so that they can sue you when you ‘disseminate’ descriptions and pictures of the game via Facebook without prior written consent of the Minnesota Twins.

- Fixing this HUGE eyesore below the Metropolitan Club by covering it up with more limestone:

- MORE ARTWORK.

- Another creepy bronze statue of a player, to add to the current creepy statues of MLB Hall of Famers Harmon Killebrew, Rod Carew, and Kirby Puckett. (Coughnexthalloffamerbertblylevencough).

Yeah, okay. If the Twins are just going to get swept again in the playoffs, we might as well do it in style. In all seriousness though, these sound like good changes—except the LED tower. I mean, weren’t the Twins just complaining about how the minimalist advertisement put up on the neighboring Target Center tarnished the view? Now they want to add a huge, phallic, light-up tower?

In other news—how about that Joe Mauer? Another Golden Glove and Silver Slugger award.

EDIT:
Thinking about it--that LED tower will scare off Kirby the Kestrel! Boo...

A Twins Homer’s Guide to the World Series

2010-10-27T17:22:00.007-05:00

If you’re anything like me, you’ve still been watching every game of the playoffs since the Twins were eliminated. There is only so much baseball left before the long, cold, hard off-season, and I’ll take anything and everything I can get. Not to mention, watching the playoffs provides me with a great excuse to stop doing law school work, lay on the couch in my Twins snuggie, and drink some beer.

I think it should be quite predictable that I was rooting for the Giants to beat the Phillies (who wants to see them again?) and the Rangers to beat the Yankees (a no-brainer). Now that I have my “dream” match up, who do I root for??

Perhaps others are having this dilemma. However, the answer became quite obvious to me with only a second or two of reflection. Below I share my thought process, which I firmly believe covers all of the relevant points a Twins fan ought to consider when deciding who to root for this year.

Rooting for the San Francisco Giants
Point: The team hasn’t won a World Series since moving to California in 1957.
Counter-Point: The Giants were supposed to move to Minneapolis, but went to California instead.

Rooting for the Texas Rangers
Point: The Texas Rangers have never won a World Series since the organization’s first season in 1961.
Counter-Point: The Senators (the replacement team who later became the Texas Rangers) beat the Twins in their first ever home game at Metropolitan Stadium in 1961.

Winner: Tie. Giants 0, Rangers 0.

Rooting for the San Francisco Giants
Point: Tim Lincecum is pretty damn likeable. How does someone who looks like such a freak throw a baseball so well?
Counter-Point: Am I taking crazy pills, or doesn’t anyone else notice Brian Wilson paints that beard on his face?

Rooting for the Texas Rangers
Point: It’d be nice for Vlad to stick it to the Angels. How about that, Torii!?
Counter-Point: The Rangers left Cristian “Guzzy” Guzman off the post-season roster.

Winner: Tie. Giants 0, Rangers 0.

Rooting for the San Fransisco Giants
Point: Every time a Giant hits a homerun, the ReLeaf Herbal Center is giving a free joint to every Giants fan at their dispensary!
Counter-Point: Pretty sure marijuana is still illegal.

Rooting for the Texas Rangers
Point: The Rangers are giving away free red pom-poms to fans attending playoff games (while the Twins, for the first time, made fans buy their Homer Hankies.)
Counter-Point: Pretty sure shaking red pom-poms at a baseball game is illegal.

Winner: Giants. Giants 1, Rangers 0.

Rooting for the San Francisco Giants
Point: The Giants managed to just barely squeak into the playoffs in the last few days of the season, which is very Minnesota Twins-esque.
Counter-Point: The Giants were not swept in the opening series, which is very un-Minnesota Twins-esque.

Rooting for the Texas Rangers
Point: The Texas Rangers are managed by Ron Washington.
Counter-Point: ….

Winner: Rangers. Giants 1, Rangers 324,325.

So yes—if it wasn’t already obvious, the only factor that really matters for the Twins Homer is that Ron Washington manages the Rangers. Not only is Ron the only ex-Twin (as far as I’m aware) involved in the World Series (my normal method of picking a team to root for in a Yankees-less series), he was Kirby Puckett’s "big-league father" and sat by Kirby’s bedside during his final hours. So how can I not be rooting for his team to win? Kind of a chimerical concept.

Go Rangers!

Sad? Why should I be sad?

2010-10-10T16:06:00.010-05:00

The Yankees finished their ALDS sweep of the Twins last night, meaning the Twins’ 2010 season is over. So what am I doing this afternoon? You guessed it—I’m taking the afternoon off to celebrate the Twins amazing 2010 season!! WOOHOO!!

Okay—so I know a lot of Twins fans out there are very sad/depressed/angry, because their dreams of a World Series Championship have been dashed. You know what I think about that view? How depressing! Why should I let 3 lousy games make me forget about the joy and excitement I got from watching the Twins play over the last 6 months?

There are different ways one can go about their fandom. One way is to expect your team to win the World Series every year. This, obviously, is the ultimate task to be accomplished every season. Why else does your team play? So, then, if your team is clearly having a losing season, there is no point in watching (except, maybe, to complain about what the team needs to change to win a World Series the next year). If your team is clearly having a winning season, you don’t really need to pay much attention until October, because a few extra wins or losses during the regular season are meaningless. All you really want is for your team to win the World Series, and if they don’t, the entire point of the season has been frustrated. The year will be a failure, and you’re understandably peeved about the whole thing. You complain about what you think needs to be changed to make sure next year isn’t such a god damn awful failure as well. But if your team happens to win the World Series, your expectations are met and you can gloat to all other fans about how your team is so much better than theirs. What a joy! Because the whole point is just to win it all—right? So your team wins! This might be called “being a Yankee fan.”

But that is not the only way to be a fan. You can also be a fan just because you like to watch your team play baseball. You want your team to win, of course—but that’s not the ultimate point. The point is actually watching baseball. That’s what makes it a pass-time. That’s what makes you look forward to game time everyday, because every game is unpredictable: maybe today someone will hit for the cycle. Maybe tomorrow everyone on the field will hilariously be attacked by bugs. Maybe the next day someone will break a record. And maybe the day after that, your team will play horribly and lose. But because you continue watching everyday, you become invested in your team. You notice how different players interact, how they react to wins and losses, how they grow and change over time. You might even start to notice similar interactions, reactions, and growth among the fans and society around you. You might notice your team becoming more popular, or how a new stadium has transformed the city you were born and have lived in the majority of your life, or maybe even how fans are starting to become disenfranchised by recent events. Most importantly, however, is that over time, you really start to care about noticing these things—because this isn’t just a movie, this is real life passing before your eyes. This is it. As a great Twin once said, “Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us.”

I cherish every Twins game I get to attend, watch, or listen to. The Twins have certainly given me a lot to be happy about throughout this season. Why should I be sad? Sure, I would love a World Series championship, or just to be able to watch the Twins play more baseball games. But thus is life. All I can do, being the fan that I am, is try my best to cherish every moment I have. That's what makes me a fan. And that's what makes me happy.

And that's why I love baseball.

P.S. Perhaps my explanation of fandom will help explain why I still think this was my favorite moment of the entire "season". How far this team has come since 2001, how much they have been through, and how loyal true Twins fans are... This made me so proud to be a Twins fan.

Are You Kidding Me?

2010-10-07T11:21:00.008-05:00

Let me start off by saying how awesome the atmosphere was at Target Field at the start of yesterday's playoff game against the Yankees. It was loud, it was exciting, home hankies were twirling, everyone was hanging on every pitch.

Then, when CC Sabathia hit Thome in the 2nd inning, followed by Cuddyer's homerun, Target Field went even crazier.

The Twins were definitely feeding off the energy. So great home field advantage, right?

But fast forward a few innings. In the top of the 6th, the Yankees score 4 runs to take the lead by 1--and the fans just went silent. Things perked up a little when the Twins tied it up in the bottom of the 6th, but when the Yankees scored two off Jesse Crain (!#!@!) the next inning, Target Field just went dead. And I mean dead dead. I literally turned to my mom and said, "You could hear a pin drop in here." You could even hear people cheering for the Yankees.

Oh, but it gets worse.

My reaction to all this quietness, quite obviously, was to continue to cheer. I mean--these are the Twins! This is a playoff game! We're only behind by two runs! You would think it would be acceptable--no, mandatory--to continue to cheer for your team. Apparently, the family sitting in front of me did not agree. All three of them turned around and glared at me whenever I opened my mouth. They said something to my sister. And then, their daughter did this:

SHE SHOVED A HOMER HANKY IN HER EAR. Yes. She shoved a Homer Hanky in her ear because she was so annoyed with the girl sitting behind her cheering for the Twins at a Twins playoff game. No, I was not yelling in her ear. Yes, I was loud, but frankly, it was no where near as loud as it had been just a few innings earlier, when the girl was happily waving her Hanky around as it is properly to be used.

I look at the picture, and a part of my heart just dies.

Out of the hundreds of baseball games I have gone to in my life, I could count the number I left early on one hand. And after this family continued to tell us to pipe down, last night's game became one of them. It was probably the first time I left Target Field both before the game ended and thinking "I miss the Metrodome."

Front row seats? Front row seats!

2010-10-05T21:47:00.026-05:00

Last Thursday I had the awesome opportunity to sit in front row seats behind the Twins dugout for their game against the Blue Jays—and yeah, okay, I realize I’m a bit late on writing about this, and everyone has moved on to the Yankees, and such forth and hereto with. Unfortunately, law school classes have started up again, and being a law school student seriously cramps my Twins fandom style. And my time available for blogging. I apologize.

Anyway, these were the same seats I got the chance to sit in very early in the year on May 3rd, during the game in which Wilson Ramos convinced Twins fans for a week or so that he was the second coming of Joe Mauer and ought to play 3rd base. Good times, right? Target Field was still fairly new at that point and I had nothing bad to say about sitting in the front row.

Mind you, these are still entirely awesome seats and I think every Minnesotan should get the chance to sit there. Standing up, you’re able to look right down at the players in the dugout, literally just a few feet away. It's really just like you could lean over and rub Thome's head.

Jim, by the way, was awesome. A fan yelled for him and he turned around and just game him a "Rock on" sign. He really genuinely seem as nice as everyone says.

The thing is, you can only see this stuff standing up, and being in the front row, you feel obliged to sit for most of the game. The dugout comes up rather high—presumably to protect fans from objects flying out of the field. So when you sit down, you can no longer see any players in the dugout.

Ok, I lied—you can see the top of Jon Rauch’s head.

Now I know the real point is to watch the game, but the view of that isn’t necessarily the best either. I personally feel that the view would actually be much nicer a few rows back. Of course, then you'd lose the novelty of sitting in the very front row, where you can pretend you're a superstar.

Jose Bautista.

ME and Jose Bautista.

Anywho, I had an enjoyable time--drank a beer, saw Jose Bautista absolutely murder a baseball, drank more beer, saw Bautista murder another ball, waved at Jerry White (he likes waving to fans), and took a lot of pictures.

Mauer on deck.

Plouffe warming up the pitcher (they really don't let Morales do anything)

Danny Valencia!

Crowds clearing out after the Blue Jays hit homeruns like it's the Metrodome.

I also managed to take a video, apparently of Jose Molina's homerun.

And Julie--the umpire twirling his finger around in the air means it's a homerun.

I went to the games Friday and Sunday as well (although not in the front row seats, of course). Some people might get bored at these games since they 'don't really matter'. Personally, I love watching the last few games of the season, both in person or on TV. In fact, I especially love watching games between two teams who are totally out of the playoff picture. Back when I had Extra Innings (or even any cable at all), I used to try and watch as many of the last games as I possibly could. The very last games were, understandably, usually on the West Coast. I remember a few years back, watching the very last regular season game in all MLB--a Dodgers game--and both teams were totally out of the race. But then the Dodgers scored a run, and the camera panned around to show all the cheering fans. "And for one brief moment," Vin Scully orated, as the camera zoomed in on a small boy, sitting on his father's shoulders, barely holding on to an ice cream cone as his dad jumped up and down, "it's Camelot in Dodgers Stadium."

"But then," Vin Scully went on, as the boy and his father still cheered, "reality sets in."

As a Twins fan, this season has been an absolute dream come true--and I know I can saw that regardless of what happens in the playoffs.

Thank you 2010 Twins!

Assorted Curious Crap

2010-09-26T21:59:00.009-05:00

At 4:33 am last Thursday morning, Justin Morneau gave birth to his first child—Evelyn Audra Sheryl Morneau. Justin will most likely continue his maternity leave through the end of the post season.
You've probably heard about this week’s Sports Illustrated featuring a cover story on Jim Thome and Target Field. Weird part for me while reading this? Realizing that author Joe Posnanski was quoting both my boyfriend (“Home run, Jim!”) and my mom (“double play or a homerun”)! Apparently, Joe used my YouTube video for help when recounting Jim Thome’s walk-off homerun against the Sox back in August. Nothing like reading about a sports moment in Sports Illustrated told through the exact perspective you actually had of the moment… Great article Joe!
Good thing Ben Revere was called up in time to take part in Twins rookie dress up day (although I can’t figure out what he is supposed to be dressed up as [EDIT: Thank you to the anonymous commenter, apparently Ben Revere is supposed to be this]). Thanks for the pictures Pat!
Although this has already gotten attention on many other Twins blogs, I wanted to mention this Open Letter to the Minnesota Twins and their Fans (written by a White Sox fan). Basically, it's a White Sox fan explaining why he still hates the Twins, why the Twins suck, and why the White Sox are still better than the Twins. My question is--why are Twins fans offended by this? Were you really expecting White Sox fans to like the Twins after the Twins swept their team and dreams of reaching the postseason? They are White Sox fans. This is exactly what they are supposed to do. Just compliment their team, keep playing Minnesota Nice, and it will piss them off even more.
Except, er, extremely obnoxious Chicago White Sox TV broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrleson is apparently now pulling for the Twins to win the World Series. You can... put it on the board? I'm not even sure what to think about this.
Ozzie Guillen--normally Twins fan number 1--however, now thinks the Yankees or Rays have a better chance at clinching the AL than the Twins.
Ron Gardenhire missed Saturday's game after Alexi Casilla threw a ball at his head during batting practice. Luckily, Gardenhire passed a concussion test and won't have to take maternity through the end of the post season.

This blog post is dedicated to my biggest fan--Target Field, of Facebook fame. I am glad you enjoy my assorted curious crap, Mr. Target Field!

Is Ben Revere Eligible to be on the Postseason Roster?

2010-09-22T20:44:00.008-05:00

Topper over at Curve for a Strike wrote a post earlier today arguing that Ben Revere should be on the postseason roster. Basically, the argument goes that since the Twins will likely need pinch-runners and defensive replacements on their bench more than pinch-hitters, and Ben Revere is good at defense and very fast, he should make the cut. I tend to agree, but add only that Ben Revere should make the postseason roster because he is absolutely adorable. I mean, did you ever watch this video?

Then I noticed a comment one reader made on Topper’s post: “Hes not postseason eligible, he wasnt on the roster as of september 1st”

So wait—is this right? Is Ben Revere not actually eligible to be on the postseason roster?

Although the commenter was not too far off the mark, the answer is actually no, Ben Revere most likely can be on the postseason roster. Major League Rule 40, entitled “Players Eligible for Post-Season” governs, er, players eligible for the postseason. A copy of the Major League Rules is available at the Biz of Baseball (an excellent blog for those of you who are interested in this aspect of the game). According to Major League Rule 40(a)(1)(A), a player must be on the major league team’s active roster or disabled list by August 31st to be eligible for the postseason roster. Thus, it would appear the commenter was correct. Ben Revere was called up on September 4th.

However, if one reads on just a couple lines, one will find Major League Rule 40(a)(3)—an exception to the basic rule. Under Rule 40(a)(3), any player in the organization may be put on the postseason roster in place of another player who was eligible (i.e. was on the major league team’s active roster or disabled list on August 31st), provided that the player who was eligible before is now injured and cannot play. The Twins have two such players: Ron Mahay and Justin Morneau.

The fact that Ben Revere was not the first player called up to replace either of those players does not matter. The rule contains no such limitation. It simply says that if there is a player who was eligible on August 31st, but is injured and cannot play in the postseason, that player can be replaced on the postseason roster by any other player in the organization.

That would include Ben Revere.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

2010-09-22T09:19:00.017-05:00

(Jim Dietz/AP)

In 2006, the Twins clinched the AL Central Division Championship on the last day of the regular season. In 2009, the Twins clinched in a post regular-season, epic tie-breaker known simply as Game 163. In 2010, the Twins apparently won 10 extra games--because last night, they became the first team in MLB to clinch their division and guarantee themselves a trip to the playoffs!

Anti-Climatic? Maybe. But watching the White Sox lose to give you the championship certainly isn't the worst thing in the world. With the White Sox down by three in the 9th inning, even Hawk Harrelson was talking Twins, pointing out how good Cuddyer and Young have been, and how "Mauer is Mauer." And the Hawk's Twins' MVP choice? Jon Rauch--you know, because the Twins weren't supposed to win anything after losing Joe Nathan for the season (or something like that).

Ozzie also tipped his hat to the Twins, saying:

"Look at my quotes in Spring Training. ... Look at my quotes all year long. Look at what I said about them the last seven years. Good ballclub. Now, I hope people will start believing that. It's not the same Minnesota Twins we saw 10 years ago. ... This is a good ballclub. They spent a lot of money. They have good ballplayers. They deserve to be there.

"They kicked everybody's ~~[butt]~~ ass. That's the reason they clinched before everybody else. That's the only reason they did it, because they're a good ballclub. They earned it. They deserve to be there. They play very hard. When your enemy kicks your butt, sometimes you've got to tip your hat to those guys for the way they played, at least against us. ... I think Ron Gardenhire should be proud of his ballclub."

But that's pretty much typical Ozzie.

The Twins celebration started at 11:37pm CT--a little late, considering the Twins play today at noon. I suspect today's game might be a little rough for the boys, based on the following observations:

Span stroking Punto's arm while walking out to the field to high-five fans.
O-Dog telling a reporter, "Right now we rollin'!"
Matt Guerrier, when asked how he and Crain support each other, responding, "Well, we hold hands when we walk out to the bullpen, that helps."
Rauch running on to the field with a cooler full of water and throwing it on fans.
Various players doing an MVP chant around Ben Revere.
Nick Punto screaming "I love Dick [Bremer]!!!" all night.
Nickleback playing in the clubhouse at one point during the celebration

Luckily, unlike last year, today's game is not a play-off game in New York City. Clinching in your last game might be exciting, but the Twins' extra downtime will certainly be appreciated. For once, our boys will be rested and ready for the playoffs--which is really what makes this season's division championship exciting.

Go Twins!

Hate to Break it to You, Ozzie...

2010-09-14T23:33:00.009-05:00

“We don’t need a sweep, we need to win the first game,” said White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. “We need to win the series. We’ll see what happens.”

Explained in this flow chart published by the Chicago Tribune earlier today (it's great, trust me), the White Sox still had a chance to win the Al Central Division--provided they swept the three-game series with the Twins this week. After tonight's 9-3 Twins win, we know that's not going to happen.

However, the Twins haven't technically clinched yet. Because I don't want to jinx anything, I'll just post some headlines from the Chicago media instead:

White Sox Drop Critical Opener to Twins
Defeat all but finishes off White Sox
Thome 'very, very happy' with Twins
A hole too deep for White Sox
Opener-and-shut
Here Lies The 2010 White Sox

Legends Weekend: Can We Do This Before Every Game?

2010-09-08T00:31:00.069-05:00

All pictures in this post can be SUPER enlarged by clicking on them!

Last weekend the Twins celebrated their 50th Season with a slew of celebrations: Pictures with Twins Alumni near gate 34 before the game; announcing the 50 Greatest Twins on the field; Greg Gagne’s induction into the Twins Hall of Fame; Thome tying and passing McGwire on the all-time homerun list; awesome throwback uniforms all three days; and, of course, the Twins Legends game. It was basically the greatest weekend of my life.

I was lucky enough to go to the games Friday and Sunday. For Friday, I was able to score some pretty sweet seats close behind the plate.

The 50 Greatest Twins were announced on the field before the game. The whole thing was really cool—there was a little video for each player, with different narrators talking about the player for each one. For example:

Corey Koskie (Narrated by Justin Morneau)

My favorite one was when Theresa Mauer read the bio for Joe Mauer. I think I cried.

Jeff Reardon (and if you look real close in the lower left corner, you can see Eddie Guardado turned around waving at my Mom!)

Brad Radke waves to fans.

The last Twin to be announced--Harmon Killbrew--takes the field.

Harmon waves to fans as Thome is shown cheering on the jumbotron.

The PA guy announced that Harmon Killebew was going to catch the first pitch. I'm not sure if that was a surprise on him, because he looked around a little confused for a second. Luckily, Gardy ran out and did the dirty work for the Killer.

The game was nice. Some crazy guy named Fox pitched, and the defense was able to squeak out the win.

In the 8th inning, former Twins all-star Christian Guzman pinch ran for Josh Hamilton.

I heard shouts of “GUZZZ” come out from the crowd, but nothing too crazy. I had been excited to see him myself, so I yelled pretty loud.

Before the game on Sunday, Twins alumni played the Twins’ first ever Legends Game at Target Field. There were Twins everywhere!

The guys warmed up and took batting practice on the field for about an hour before the game. They were all having a blast. I'm willing to bet Herbk had already put a few back in the clubhouse.

Not everyone took batting practice--but I swear every time I turned around Corey Koskie was in or just coming out of the cage. He seemed very exciting to be playing ball on a field in front of a crowd again.

It was really fun just to watch all the guys socializing on the field and in the dugout.

Ron Washington, donning a Twins uniform, gets secret information from Jon Rauch and Matt Capps.

The Killer

Radke rubbing Eddie Guardado's head in the dugout.

Radke smiling after rubbing Eddie's head in the dugout.

TK and Cristian Guzman catching up.

Valencia looking pretty gitty.

Jim Perry checking over the lineup.

Before the game, all the alumni were announced.

Greg Gagne--the newest member of the Twins Fall of Fame.

Mudcat couldn't get out when they called his name, but Jim Perry came to help a minute later.

Apparently, Rod Carew refuses to wear a jersey after his retirement.

Men of stature.

When the Twins took the field, an old version of "We're Going to Win Twins!" accompanied them. You can hear some parts in the video below.

The game itself was absolutely hilarious. Guys were falling all over the place, giving mid-inning interviews, hugging, laughing, and trying to play.

How incredibly happy does Gagne look just to catch a ball?

Koskie back at Third.

Bert on the mound!

Bert tries to bean Dazzle!

Bert laughing at Gladden (and looking like he's been eating lots of birthday cake, too).

Dazzle then hits one out to right center field--and AL NEWMAN makes a great play!

Ron Washington up to bat.

Bert tries to bean Ron Washington; gets warned by Home Plate Umpire Don Shelby.

Ron Washington gets a hit (and yes--Eddie Guardado is playing 2nd base!)

Tom and Ron share a tender moment.

GET IT HRBIE!!

Hrbek gave this explanation in an on-field interview: "I'm used to that bouncy turf!"

Al Newman batting.

Eddie Guardado batting!

JIM PERRY BATTING! (He even got on base!)

Eddie later substituted himself back into the game to pitch (apparently going for the Cesar Tovar!)

The Minnies beat the Pauls 5 to 1, or something like that. No one really cared. In fact, I'm not even sure if everyone stayed on the same team for the entire game.

Afterward, the players all came out for a group photo.

Jim Perry helps Mudcat off the field after the game.

An absolutely awesome day. If only Kirby could have been there too...

CapitalBabs over at Kunuckleballs was also at the legends game, and has more great pictures. She also has links to video clips from the game.

Also, please note--FSN is re-broadcasting the entire Legends Game this Friday at 9:30!

Many, but not all, of the pictures are courtesy of my Mom! (The others are mine, of course!)

A Question for Wally the Beerman

2010-09-03T10:13:00.006-05:00

During last night's game, my Mom ran up to Wally the Beerman and asked him a question.

"Wally! When was the last time the Twins and the Vikings were playing at the same time?"

"Oh, I don't know..."

"I mean, when was the last time the Twins and the Vikings were playing home-games at the same time?"

"Huh. I'm not sure, you'll have to ask Sid."

"No! Just think about it!"

Another man chimed in. "The Vikings were playing the 49ers while the Twins were playing a few weeks ago."

"No! When was the last time the Twins and the Vikings were both playing home-games at the same time? Just think about it!"

"Oh... OHHHhh!"

Danny Valencia with the Walk-Off Hit! [video]

2010-09-01T23:46:00.008-05:00

Okay--seriously, I don't know how I keep getting these things on video. For real. I'm not at every game. I don't video tape every second.

I am going to try and take as many videos as I can. It seems to be working!

(P.S.--I tried not to scream as much this time?)

“Gardy's office is like Bill Gates' office!”

2010-08-21T14:02:00.028-05:00

The Angels made their Target Field debut on Friday, which inevitably begs the question: what do you think, Torii?

"Gardy's office is like Bill Gates' office!" Torii Hunter told reporters, in awe of Target Field's amenities. Gardy gave Torii a special tour of the ballpark early Friday afternoon.

"This is almost better—this is better than Yankee Stadium," Torii said. "You can see why guys get there at 1:30 every day. They were playing video games, they were all happy, eating lunch—they have a chef now. I said, 'What did you guys do, spend the night here?'

"This is definitely a dream. They dropped me off in the players' parking lot and I was walking up, I was like in shock—could not believe how beautiful this stadium was on the outside. And then I walked inside, just walked through the home side, the clubhouse, I was in tears.”

Torii might have been one of the most popular Twins for many years, but I was always more of a Jacque Jones person myself. I was still interested, however, to see what Torii would say about Target Field. More specifically, I wanted to see if he would regret leaving the Twins for more money elsewhere. Obviously, he wouldn’t tell the media if he did think that—he could only say that indirectly. He could only say something like "I'm going to tell Denard, say: 'You blessed. You don't know how blessed you are. You better be thankful. Y'all better stop complaining.'”

While the Angels were warming up before Friday night’s game, I looked around for Torii—but he was conspicuously absent.

(Not the best picture, and no, I don't know why all those people are walking around the warning track)

After the Angels left the field, however, I noticed a player come out to warm up alone.

One of the things I was curious to see was what the fan reaction to Torii would be at Target Field. You may remember that Torii’s first game as an Angel was actually an away game against the Twins at the Metrodome back in 2008. The Twins played a special thank you video for Torii when he was announced in the lineup, and Twins fans cheered him the first time he came up to bat. After that, Torii was booed.

So was Target Field any different?

Here is the Angels’ lineup being announced on Friday night:

So yeah—I suppose it’s a lot easier to get over Torii being a traitor when he comes back crying after seeing how beautiful the Twins’ new ballpark is.

Torii was also cheered when he first came up to bat, but it was no “Jacque Jones returns” type ovation. However, the Twins did do something special for him. Watch Torii’s first at bat below:

Did you catch that? My instincts kicked in as soon as I heard it—Torii’s batting music from his last year as a Twin (“This is Why I’m Hot”). You can see Torii pause and say something to Joe Mauer when it starts to play. I've never heard batting music played for a non-Twin at a Twins home-game before.

Brian Duensing went on to pitch 8 marvelous innings of baseball, and the Twins beat the Angels 7-2. The loss pushed the Angels one game under .500, while the Twins are an amazing 20 games over .500.

Wonder what Torii thinks about that!

JIM THOME! HOMERUNS! SHAVING-CREAM PIES! [videos]

2010-08-17T23:55:00.018-05:00

I was going to write about how Tony Oliva sat by the Tony O’s Cuban Sandwich stand today before the game. He is so awesome. And I was going to write about how our White Sox fan friend made us super delicious friendship bread. I was going to write about Kirby the Kestrel, finally coming back to the foul pole (for just a moment). I was going to write about Bobby Thompson. And I was also going to write about how all of the guys sitting in front of us were flabbergasted when my boyfriend called O-Dog’s homerun in the first.

But let's just get to the point.

Jim Thome: First walk-off homerun at Target Field

And, apparently, not even future HOFers are immune to shaving cream pies (although I guess they have Nick Puntos waiting to provide immediate relief?)

THOME IS MY HOMEY

Did you hear Pavano's new intro music?

2010-08-16T16:37:00.038-05:00

When Timmy Baker takes the mound, they play "Baker Street." When Kevin Slowey takes the mound, they play "Slow Ride." So naturally, when Carl Pavano takes the mound, they now play this:

As we all know, Pavano went on to win the game last Friday, and the Twins as a whole went on to sweep the series against the A's. I was lucky enough to attend Friday's game, attend Saturday's game, and have Kevin Slowey pulled before possibly completing a no-hitter on Sunday when I did not attend. I would have really raged about missing a no-hitter, so kudos to high pitch counts and tendinitis issues in Slowey's elbow.

On Saturday, mini-replicas of Target Field were given away to the first 10,000 fans, so I got to the park as soon as the gates opened. According to the girls I overheard in the bathroom, the replica looked like an ash tray. I hadn't opened mine.

While walking around before the game, I noticed something a little out of place.

It's Waldo watching batting practice--IN Target Field!

If you have no idea what I am talking about, here’s some background information: Waldo is a well-known Twins fan and ballhawk. He attended every game at the Metrodome since 2004, sitting in center field and cheering on Torii Hunter. "I know he's my biggest fan," Hunter said about Waldo in a Star Tribune article from 2007. "I think he's one of the guys I'm going to miss most because he comes to every game." Newspapers and bloggers have written several stories on Waldo’s fandom and ballhawking.

According to Alright Hamilton!, Waldo had his tickets to the final six games at the Metrodome stolen last year, and the Twins were uncooperative with helping him out. Waldo felt the Twins had treated him unfairly at other times as well. So he decided to boycott Target Field. Instead of buying tickets, Waldo sat outside Gate 34 on Kirby Puckett Plaza (and please do not tell me that isn’t the real name of the plaza).

I have never personally met Waldo, although he rode his bike by me before a game a few weeks ago and complimented my Radke jersey. I didn’t go up and ask Waldo why he decided to come into Target Field, although I probably should have.

Saturday's game was also special because it was my friend, Johnny Love's, first time at Target Field. You might know about Johnny if you are in Uptown a lot. He rides his bike around, carries everything he owns in his bike trailer, and has a home-made Foghat tattoo on his arm. Johnny's been sober for seven months now and doing relatively spectacular, so I figured I could take him to the game. He's not even the biggest baseball fan, but I lent him a jersey and brought him in, and holy crap he was excited. He told me the last baseball game he went to was one of the very first exhibition games at the Metrodome back in 1982.

I gave Johnny the grand tour. I took him into the Metropolitan Club and he told me he had some relative named Mush Morris who played for the Millers. We went to look off the balcony and I noticed Waldo taking baseball cards and empty Target Field replica boxes out of a trash can.

I was jealous I didn’t think to do that. (Per my Mom: baseball cards given away at the ballpark can be very rare and valuable, and they gave out a big card in addition to the replica). Of course, I also don’t think to come to batting practice all the time and collect thousands of used balls. Clearly I'm a little behind on the baseball collector's learning curve.

In any case, I hope Waldo had a good time. I know Johnny did.

Johnny enjoying the action.

Johnny and I at the game.

Brian Duensing sure didn't disappoint!

P.S.

It does look like an ashtray.

CATCH. OF. THE. CENTURY.

2010-08-09T09:23:00.007-05:00

Earlier this season I blogged about a couple from Japan that I met at Target Field. The two were big baseball fans and had great enthusiasm for the Twins. We asked them what their favorite team was and they told us they were Hiroshima Carp fans, and gave me a Hiroshima Carp pin.

Later, I read more about the Carp and learned that they have pretty intense fans, never finished higher than third place in their first 25 years, and focus on developing younger players to be competitive on a tight budget. I decided the Hiroshima Carp were pretty cool.

All this is really just my introduction to the real purpose of this post, which is to share with you the catch of the century, made during a Yokohama BayStars/Hiroshima Carp game last week:

Go Carp!

HOME-STAND SWEEP!

2010-08-02T14:06:00.065-05:00

The Twins just did something they have never done before at Target Field: sweep an entire home-stand!

Granted, the home-stand was just three games long. And it was against the struggling Seattle Mariners. But whatever. Twins swept the home-stand! WOOHOO!

On Friday night, Ken Burns—as in “Ken Burns: Baseball”—threw out one of the many ceremonial “first” pitches that occur before every game.

While throwing out the pitch, the PA guy said that “Baseball” is the most watched program on PBS ever, which I did not know. I am not surprised though—it has to be the best documentary of all time. It’s all about baseball. So if for some reason you haven’t seen this, please set aside 18 hours the next Twins off-day to watch the documentary in its entirety. Then sometime on or after next September 28th and 29th, set aside 4 more hours to watch Ken Burns’ new sequel covering everything that has happened in baseball since 1994. It’s going to be awesome.

After seeing Ken Burns, I got my first glimpse of the newest Minnesota Twin—Matt Capps.

I was a little dismayed to see him wearing number 55, but I guess if Mike Redmond ever comes back just to hang out he doesn’t really need his number. It’s also hard for me to hold it against Capps after finding out he’s good friends with Doug Mientkiewicz, who even texted Capps on Thursday night to congratulate him on going to the Twins. Any good friend of Doug’s is a good friend of mine. Even A-Rod (who, if you didn’t know, was on the same high school baseball team as Doug).

When the game started, I noticed something much more upsetting.

Lee Tinsley is no longer the Mariners' first base coach! Now he’s all the way over at third base! AND HE'S NOT EVEN WEARING HIS SOCKS UP TO SHOW OFF HIS GLORIOUS CALVES! As if Ken Griffey Jr. retiring before the trip to Target Field wasn't bad enough.

But the Mariners are still fun to see because of Ichiro, who is one of my favorite players and really fun to watch.

Ichiro is especially fun to watch when a Twins’ pitcher gets him to strike out three times in one game, which Kevin Slowey accomplished on Saturday. Slowey, along with Tim Hudson in 2003 and Josh Beckett in 2007, are the only pitchers to ever accomplish this.

In the second inning of Friday’s game, Thome hit his 577th career homerun to put the Twins ahead 2-0. And then Seattle’s left fielder Michael Saunders did this:

Yes—he stuck his spikes through the wall, lifted himself up, and RIPPED A GIANT HOLE! Didn’t anyone tell Michael that this is a brand new stadium, with brand new walls, partially funded with tax-payer dollars, so don’t come in and mess it all up you dung monkey!?

On Saturday, the Mariners did not rip any holes in the wall. But you could still see where the Twins had to patch up the hole from the day before.

Saturday’s game went by pretty quick—it only lasted 2 hours and 7 minutes—so our ride was late picking us up from the ballpark. This wasn’t a problem though—we just hung out at Hrbek’s, which is like Disney Land for Twins fans who like to get boozy.

Try the Rex burger from here sometime--but cut it in half before biting in. It's a juicy Lucy, which I learned (the hard way) will explode all over your pants if you're not careful.

I also found a table I thought I wanted in my house:

But about a minute later I found the one I actually want in my house:

Never mind the fact that I don’t even have a house.

Don’t these people look happy?

Other pictures from the home-stand:

Henry Blanco jersey!

Ichiro running.

Ichiro stretching (which he does a lot).

Wally’s all hopped up on Vitamin D.

Kevin Slowey and some neat shadows.

Beautiful day.

I'm really liking the vines on these things.

Chone Figgins after Thome's 577th career homerun.

Japanese fans are the best.

Check out this awesome, successful dive by Casilla!

Making Punto jealous!

All pictures used in this post are courtesy of me (the stupid ones) or my Mom (the awesome ones)!

Matt Capps' First Entrance onto Target Field [video]

2010-07-31T00:41:00.007-05:00

Pioneer Press: "I don't think I've ever had an ovation quite like that," said Capps, who ran out to the same song he did in D.C. ("The Final Countdown"). "It gave me some goose bumps coming in. It feels good when people appreciate what you've done. To come here on Day One and get an ovation like that, I mean, what a feeling."

P.S.

Twins win!

Can the Twins play the Royals/Orioles everyday?

2010-07-28T18:00:00.019-05:00

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Best road trip ever!

Okay, maybe not technically but it sure feels like it. Over the past 7 days on the road, the Twins have outscored their opponents 60-16! The highest point of the trip was on Monday, when the Twins all padded their stats by beating the Royals 19-1! That score deficit apparently tied the Royals’ worst loss ever—but one poster on the Kansas City Star website made a pretty strong argument as to why it was actually the worst Royals’ loss ever.

Which is why I like the Royals, and their fans. They really love baseball. They also have blog headlines like this:

“Avoiding The Shutout: Royals Lose 19-1 To Twins”
“Game 99 Open Thread - Twins at Royals: I guess it really can't get much worse on the field tonight compared to last night's game.”
“Royals Make It Interesting, Lose Nevertheless: A 6-4 loss is like a win, right?”

See? Finding the positives! No temper-tantrums!

So kudos to Royals Fans!

Some other things worth noting:

The Twins have had the second highest T.V. ratings out of all MLB teams so far this year.
Despite also being Canadian, it looks like Morneau isn’t going to be the next Corey Koskie. He saw a concussion specialist last week who said he is making progress and by the end of the week he was working out at Target Field.
Great News: Delmon Young shows no signs of ending the “Proving Jim Souhan is an Idiot Campaign of 2010” anytime soon.
Superstar Twins blogger Nick Nelson hypothesized in a blog post last week that Joe Mauer's performance has suffered this year because he's been playing through several nagging injuries. Others have been saying the same thing. Turns out, they were spot on.

FAN ON THE FIELD!

2010-07-23T11:35:00.027-05:00

So during the 8th inning of Pavano's complete game shut out last night, a Baltimore fan ran onto the field. I don’t have cable, but I am assuming as per the norm they did not show the fan on TV.

I don’t support fans on the field—but honestly, somewhere deep down inside, you're kinda cheering for these idiots. On the radio last night, John Gordon made this particular incident sound pretty epic ("Oh wow, this is ridiculous! Looks like they have him trapped.... oh no! My goodness!! He jumped back into the stands…. That is one of the longest delays I have seen for a fan on the field in quite some time.").

Then I saw a video.

WHAT KIND OF FAN ON THE FIELD WAS THAT?!? The kid wasn’t even running! The police weren’t even running! It dragged on until the kid just stopped and pretty much said “ok, I’m done.” What the heck!?!

Apparently, the Orioles have a no-chase policy. Yeah. The “no effort” approach.

I understand how this no-chase policy could work. But I’d really rather see that idiot tackled a la the famous Boston batboy fan on the field tackle of 2006.

While listening to this fan on the field business last night, I realized that I have yet to see any fans on the field at Target Field. This isn’t a bad thing, but it is a little odd considering this used to happen quite frequently at the Metrodome. Not as frequently as wedding proposals on the jumbotron, but frequently in a similar “oh my god this would be more exciting if this was the only game I came to” type way.

Why no fans on the field at Target Field? Probably because many of the seats are raised up further off the field than at the Dome, and there’s that moat that separates most fans from the seats where one could easily jump onto the field.

It could also be because one of the consequences of running onto the field is that you are kicked out of the stadium for life.

Oh, and you’re arrested and fined thousands of dollars. I only know this through word of mouth, but if you don’t believe me you are free to test it out yourself.

So basically, if you wanted to be smart about it, you'd have to run onto the field in the bottom of the 9th inning during the stadium's last game ever.

From what I understand, they actually showed this fan on the field on TV. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it was on a national station, or maybe because everyone watching suddenly felt very nostalgic (like I did). “This is it. This is the last fan on the field I'm ever going to see at the Dome. ... GO, GO, GO!”

Man, if he had gotten over that fence that would have been so epic.

Moral of the story: Fans on the field can be annoying. No-chase policies that allow fans to jog around the field for several minutes can be even more annoying. And I prefer wrestling holds over tasers. Thanks.

Mike Redmond: "They should bring me back just to hang out."

2010-07-19T18:49:00.022-05:00

With all of the excitement surrounding the Twins’ series win over the White Sox this weekend, I almost missed this gem, hiding at the bottom of the notes following a short Pioneer Press story on Mike Redmond from Saturday:

Former Twins catcher Mike Redmond, released by Cleveland, kidding, on the Twins: "They should bring me back just to hang out."

Yes! Please! Can Mike Redmond come hang out?

Just imagine: More naked batting practice. More smelling ‘em RBIs. More piggyback rides for Punto.

Morneau lamented to an FSN reporter a couple weeks ago about how much he missed Redmond, and felt it was affecting the team. "Not having (Mike) Redmond here has made a difference in the dugout," He said. "He didn't play every day, but he was involved every day. He was in there, yelling and just having fun. Keeping you loose in the dugout.

"Being positive is the most important thing. Sometimes this game can beat you up, it's so negative."

Prior to the series win over the White Sox this weekend, when the team slipped into third in the division, it seemed like all of Twins’ Territory had reached a Jim Souhan-level of negativity. It was so bad I even contemplated leaving this blogging business so I wouldn’t have to keep up with all the mean things big old meanies were saying on the internet—like “Fire Gardy!”, “Sit Mauer!”, and “It’s our job as fans to complain about the team!”

I just want to have some faith, keep watching, and scream like a banshee when our boys come through. Like this:

See? Isn't that more fun than just complaining about Nick Blackburn?

The Twins have good players, those players just need a spark.

So what do you say Twins? Can Redmond come back? Just to hang out?

Please take a moment…

2010-07-14T00:48:00.026-05:00

…to remember George Steinbrenner.

Never in my life did I think I'd be sad to see this man pass. But alas—he was a baseball legend.

I was inspired to draw a picture.

I tried to make it as realistic as possible.

R.I.P.

…to cheer on the Saint Paul Saints.

After Sunday’s Twins’ game, I flipped channels until I came to a Saint Paul Saints’ game during a rain delay. Lots of videos detailing Saint Paul Saints history, Kevin Millar love, etc. It went on for about an hour. Then the game started back up, and the Saints were losing 2-13 in the top of the 9th.

…to watch Jacque Jones pop out?

(Click to Englarge)

Picture Courtesy of My Mom!

Cuddyer, Terry Tiffee, Red Dog, Gardy, Varitek?

Everybody loves Jacque Jones.

…to realize the American League's All-Star game winning-streak is over.

Dang it!

Cliff Lee to Twins! Er, Yankees! Reds? No wait—Rangers!

2010-07-09T16:32:00.032-05:00

Isn’t this FUN? Aren’t you just on Google News searching for “Cliff Lee” every other minute?

What? You aren’t? Here’s a super informative time-line of the reports coming out on Cliff Lee:

July 3: Why Cliff Lee Has No Shot at Coming to The Bronx This Season

July 3, 10:10pm: Source says Minnesota Twins leading race to acquire pitcher Cliff Lee

July 6, 12:15am: Twins offer prospects Aaron Hicks and Wilson Ramos to Mariners for Cliff Lee

July 6, 5:03pm: Rangers favored to land Cliff Lee

July 7, 10:40am: Joel Sherman (NYPost): "[T]he perception in baseball is that Minnesota is the frontrunner for Lee. "

July 7, 5:53pm: Joe Christensen (StarTribune): “The Twins and Mariners have yet to exchange proposals for Lee.”

July 8, 8:12am: Cliff Lee to Twins?

July 8, 1:25pm: Baseball Source: Rangers Favorite To Land Cliff Lee

July 8, 8:05pm: Reds in early stages of negotiations for Lee

July 9, 4:01am: Joel Sherman (NYPost): Yankees on brink of trading top prospect for Cliff Lee

July 9, 8:01am: Yankees-Mariners talks about Lee may be breaking down

July 9, 9:30am: Are the Yankees About to Get Cliff Lee?

July 9, 11:32am: What if Yankees get Lee?

July 9, 11:51am: Yanks Bag Cliff Lee Under Mets and Omar Minaya's Noses

July 9, 12:59pm: Report: Lee trade to Yankees is off

July 9, 3:45pm: Joel Sherman (NYPost) Yankees won't get Cliff Lee in trade after Mariners back out

July 9, 5:01pm: Joel Sherman (NYPost) Yankees don't get Cliff Lee; Mariners trade him to Rangers

Don't you feel informed now?

You're welcome.

UPDATE:

July 9, 5:30pm: Rangers make bold move, deal for All-Star Lee

MLB.com is finally calling it!

Bobblehead Day Madness and Other Home-Stand Notes

2010-07-05T12:38:00.078-05:00

VOTE FOR DELMON YOUNG TO BECOME THE FINAL MEMBER OF THE 2010 AMERICAN LEAGUE ALL-STAR TEAM!

HE LOST 30LBS IN THE OFFSEASON!

Target Field’s First Bobblehead Day (a.k.a. “Whaa? No Re-entry?”)

July 4th was a big day in Twins Territory—Target Field’s first Bobblehead Day. If you never went to a bobblehead day at the Metrodome, this is typically how it went: a few crazy fanatics would get in line the night before, pitching their tent outside one of the gates and such. All the sane people would show up the next day, one to three hours before the gates opened. The gates opened two hours before the game, everyone filed in, got their dolls—then immediately turned around, got their ticket signed, and left the game. Fans were allowed to re-enter later with the signed tickets. Some fans came back, many didn’t.

Crazed Fans stand in line at the Metrodome for Kirby Puckett Bobblehead Day, May 3rd, 2009

At Target Field, however, things are different—there is no re-entry. This was announced in the Target Field Fan Guide, on the Twins’ Website, and also in an AP story carried by the Pioneer Press, WCCO, and USAToday.

Apparently, however, some people live under a rock, because when I checked Facebook later a fan who runs a Target Field page was complaining about the different re-entry policy. “Fans were trapped rats at 11 AM” the guy wrote in his status.

The horror! Twins fans “trapped” in Target Field for two hours on a beautiful day!

One person who responded to the comment said she had never even been to Target Field before—and she was raging over the no re-entry policy!

I really do not know how someone could go out of their way to specifically get tickets for bobblehead day and plan to be there early without hearing about the re-entry policy, or at least looking into it. I became aware of this policy change before the season even started. It's not like no one knew about it. Not to mention, ushers were outside warning people in line that there was no re-entry.

The change in policy makes perfectly good sense--unlike at the Dome, it would be way too easy for fans in Target Field to slip their re-entry tickets to ticketless fans outside the park. Steel bars are all that separate the park from the street in a lot of areas, plus there are all those patios on (or hanging over) the sidewalk outside. Just think about it.

Spending two hours at Target Field before the game starts really isn’t that bad. If you’re worried about spending too much money on food while there, bring your own food (but remember—projectiles such as apples must be sliced). If you're hot, go into air-conditioned Hrbek's, Town Ball Tavern, or another area. If you're bored, go to the game station behind center field and play video games. If you don’t want to carry your bobblehead with you around the park, bring a bag to carry it in. If you don’t have enough forethought to bring a bag, sign up for that Treasure Island thing in left field and get a free Twins bag at the game. If you find something else to complain about, just don't even bother coming in the first place.

Seriously. If you’re a Twins fan and call yourself a “trapped rat” because you have to spend two hours in Target Field with a bobblehead, there is no helping you.

Anyway--welcome to the family, Minnie and Paul.

Jim Thome is a Freaking A-Hole

There have been many things to look forward to this season, and there was one I was looking forward to particularly: seeing Thome hit his 573rd and 574th homerun to tie and pass Harmon Killebrew for 10th place on the all-time homerun list.

Of course, out of all the games I have attended this season, and even just in the past week—Thome waits and hits both 573 AND 574 on Saturday when I was not at the game.

I know, I know, cry me a river. But they did replay Harmon’s video congratulations video and have Thome do another curtain call before the game on Sunday.

Congratulations Thome! It's so great to finally see you in a Twins uniform!

The Story of Corey Koskie, the Dragonfly

About halfway through Sunday’s game, my Mom looked over at me and said “Don’t move! There is a pretty dragonfly on your head!”

After the critter stuck around for a few minutes, we named him Corey Koskie.

Corey Koskie ended up sitting on my head for almost the entire game. I even went to go to the bathroom and Corey Koskie WAS STILL ON MY HEAD!

The people sitting behind me were pretty amazed with Corey Koskie as well. Thankfully, they saved me by gently re-directing Corey Koskie in the 7thn inning when he started trying to climb into my ear.

In the 9th inning, my Mom suddenly noticed that Corey was gone. I figured he had flown away. When we were leaving, however, I looked down at the ground behind my seat and saw Corey Koskie lying on the ground twitching!

My Mom and I tried to make him comfortable. We figured it was post concussion syndrome and there wasn’t much we could do about it. We left him on top of a piece of newspaper.

Post-Game Fireworks Were Kinda Lame

Friday’s game was exciting, because (a) the Twins actually won, and (b) there were the first ever post-game fireworks at Target Field!

So the fireworks were actually sort of lame. My favorite part was just seeing all the light turned off at Target Field.

Here's a video of the beginning of the show:

That's pretty much as exciting as it got. It probably looks better on video.

The players and their families watched the fireworks from the field. Joe Nathan, now apparently regulated to team babysitter, could be seen chasing a bunch of kids around.

If anyone from the Twins organization is reading this, here’s my suggestion: instead of only lighting fireworks from the top of the parking ramp behind right field, light off fireworks from a few of the different parking ramps surrounding the field! Heck, get some lasers or something too.

When I was leaving the game after the fireworks, I noticed the craziest thing of all:

It's a Glen Perkins street flag!

Other Pictures from the Homestand:

Beiber craziness at Target Center.

Pavano craziness at Target Field.

Is this a joke? (yes--that is a Cubs Mark Prior jersey!)

Remember--vote Delmon!

Punto Safe at First

2010-07-02T12:22:00.017-05:00

That, my friends, is called grit.

Emotional Melt-Down Averted (and Other Notes)

2010-06-30T23:55:00.017-05:00

Things were looking pretty bad for a minute there. I was almost convinced that all the non-Pavano starters for the Twins had turned into Jesse Crain in a pressure situation (my own personal hell).

But a trip to Target Field and a series win over the Tigers make me feel a lot better.

Now, to show that I am a real Twins blogger, I will address some hot topics I’ve seen floating around Twins internet territory.

“The Twins Need to Trade for Cliff Lee NOW”

Apparently a bunch of people think the Twins should trade Wilson Ramos—plus others—to get Cliff Lee.

I say: Really? People want to trade a top prospect and more for a two month rent-a-player? Am I taking crazy pills?

Anyone who thinks the Twins have a prayer to keep Lee past the end of this year, if a trade were made, must not know who Scott Boras is or the game Scott Boras plays. Lee would definitely be a two, three month rent-a-player TOPS.

I’m all for trading Ramos for a good deal, but come on people. Don’t get so rambunctious.

“Jeez Gardy—Jim Thome NEEDS to play everyday!”

No, he doesn’t. Jimmers is freakin’ 40 years old. He’s only hitting .206 against lefties. He has had back issues for quite some time, not to mention recent bouts of plantar fasciitis—a.k.a. Shannon Stewart disease. That stuff does not go away in one offseason.

As my professional scalping friend told me, he asked Thome at spring training if he would start an old man’s club with Brett Farve. Thome said, “I don’t know—but 40 years old and still playing professional football? Now THAT’S impressive!”

So for the love of freakin’ Jim Thome, please stop this nonsense.

“Interleague play is soooo unfair!”

This is just too much. Yeah, so the White Sox got to play the Pirates while the Twins got to play the Phillies. But guess what—luck is a very big part of baseball. Schedules are never going to be balanced and fair. Sometimes the Twins get to face a slumping team early in the season, while the Tigers have to face the same team during a hot streak later in the season. Your team just has to make sure they stay hot. That’s the game.

“Brendan Harris was outrighted to AAA! WHOOPEE!”

Okay, I was pretty darn excited about this too—but I felt a little bad after reading Brendan Harris’ most recent blog post, which he wrote just two days before being outrighted. It was a nice reminder that Brendan Harris is a real person. Even though he apparently doesn’t know the difference between a blog and a blog post, he is aware enough to admit he has been struggling and sounds eager to work hard at improving. So I’m behind him. Keep your head up Harris, and let’s see those numbers turn around!

Santana for the Dogs

2010-06-26T09:11:00.016-05:00

All kinds of nostalgia going on here.

UPDATE:

I totally called it on the Twins Talk podcast last Wednesday. I knew the Twins would do well against Santana. And I had absolutely no scientific stats to back it up.

The Milwaukee Brewers are Not Very Good

2010-06-23T12:08:00.028-05:00

Back on May 20th, 2005, I attended a Twins game at the Metrodome against the Milwaukee Brewers with some friends. We were late to the game because we were busy making a huge banner that read: “The Milwaukee Brewers are Not Very Good.” It was a riff on a poster someone had made a year before about Carlos Lee, who had just been traded to the Brewers. Anyway, we only got to hold the thing up across some rows of empty cheap seats for a tiny bit, because Carlos Silva pitched a complete game on 74 pitches. The game only lasted a bit over 2 hours. So at least we had called it.

I know the Brewers got to Baker last night—but it doesn’t even matter to me right now. You know why? The Brewers suck. Do you know why I think that? I spent all afternoon yesterday reading about Bernie Brewer. Yes, that blonde-mustached mascot for the Milwaukee Brewers who looks like Robin Yount.

This had to be the best mascot of all time, or at least tied with San Francisco’s Crazy Crab. Bernie is as genuinely Wisconsin as racing sausages. The problem is that the Brewers ruined Bernie. Now-a-days, when the Brewers get a home run, Bernie celebrates by going from one platform down a big yellow slide to another platform.

This used to be entirely lame up until last year when the Kalahari Resort from Wisconsin Dells decided to endorse the second platform. Now the platform sprays water all over the crowd when Bernie lands on it, so it’s a little less lame.

(Stupid un-embeddable video of the "Splash Zone" can be seen here).

This slide business is supposed to emulate what Bernie was REALLY born to do—live in a chalet in the outfield and celebrate every Brewers home run by sliding down a slide into a giant mug of beer.

But wait—it gets even better, because all this was actually done in tribute to a REAL FAN.

The guy’s name was Milt Mason, and he was 69 years old in 1970 when the Brewers came to Milwaukee. Milt was so excited to have baseball back in the city that he vowed to live in a trailer on top of the scoreboard until 40,000 fans came to a game. On the 40th day (this is all so biblical) 40,000 fans came to a game, and Milt slid down from the scoreboard on a rope. Yes--slid. This sliding badly burnt his hands, and he ended up falling the final 15 feet and breaking multiple bones.

The Brewers felt bad so they gave Milt free beer for life. He died a few years later, supposedly from drinking tainted beer.

That same year, Bernie was born as a tribute to Milt.

Can’t make this stuff up.

But gone are the good old days when Bernie slid down into a beer. Now he slides down onto a platform, and he doesn't even wear lederhosen. I understand the ‘trying to not promote beer to the kids’ part of this, but give me a break. It’s the BREWERS, they play at MILLER Park, in MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN.

The Twins, of course, would never have any beer related mascot.

But I digress...

HOLY FREAKIN’ COW

2010-06-19T20:42:00.032-05:00

Did you see that blast off Butera?

HOW ABOUT THOSE TWINS?

Did you SEE Drew Butera hit that homerun? THAT'S why stats can't predict the future.
Holy freaking cow.

It totally made me feel like this:

That's me in the blue Kirby Puckett jersey, looking like I am about to give birth after O.C.'s home run in game 163. The Phillie game today definitely had this feeling. Gardy agreed, saying:

"We are never going to top game 163 last year, but this one was similar. It had a lot of stuff flying around. You never felt very comfortable."

Of his home run, Drew Butera said:

"When I hit it, I started running and then I thought, 'Whoa, it has a chance.' "

Whoa indeed.

Somehow a Twins fan caught Butera's home run ball, and was kind enough to give it back to him--in exchange for a ball signed by Joe Mauer.

And did you know Drew Butera's Dad--former Twins' backup catcher Sal Butera--was at the game, and it was the first time he had ever seen his son play in the major leagues? Happy freakin' fathers day Sal!

My only piece of advice is to check out Curve For a Strike sometime soon, as I know Topper was at the game in Philadelphia today!

Kirby the Kestrel IS Alive, and Other Homestand Notes

2010-06-17T16:26:00.025-05:00

I don't have cable, but someone told me the other day that Bert Blyleven said that Kirby the Kestrel has not been back to Target Field since awesomely catching and eating a moth on live TV May 6th, 2010. That is not true. Apparently Bert is paying too much attention to the game, because I saw Kirby on Mother's Day and against the Brewers.

AND I saw Kirby the Kestrel circling above Target Field just before the first pitch on June 16th.

(Picture Courtesy of My Mom)

Speaking of birds, has anyone else noticed that a bunch of barn swallows freaking love to fly around Target Field at sunset just before games?? My Mom and I named them.

Peanut-Free Twins

The Twins announced today that they are reserving, for a couple games, a mostly standing room only area for people who are allergic to peanuts. Doesn't that give you the warm fuzzies?

You can see the Star Tribune report on it here. Note lehun14's comment:

Cool!!!

Can we please create several "double play free" games as well?

Walks Will Haunt

If you were trying to find the one thing that survived the trip from the Metrodome to Target Field, I found it. And it's awesome.

Before:

After:

The after picture wins because (a) it's outside, (b) the ghost doesn't look like he just took a pee bath, (c) it's more haunting, and (d) the disgruntled Twins O-Gram in the corner.

Morneau is MLB's Most Fan-Accessible Player

Before the Royals game on June 10th, some fans near the right field (where the Twins were warming up) kept yelling at Justin Morneau. Justin then came over to the Fans and signed autographs for about 15 minutes!

This was just before the game started. Very awesome on the part of Morneau. He must be trying to show up Mauer in the most fan-accessible player rankings.

Jon Rauch Will Eat You

All those complaining about how the Twins need to trade for a closer need to shut up. Look at this awesome intro the Twins made for Rauch.

Doesn't it feel like Jon Rauch is going to reach through the computer screen and punch you in the face?

Other Pictures From the Home stand:

Liriano, working the strikeout board.

Twins fans watching the game.

Downtown at rainy/humid.

C#$%R@$%c2134dx!@#$!!!!

SHHHH! No Yelling at the Target Field

2010-06-11T13:21:00.030-05:00

I must not have gotten the memo, but APPARENTLY you’re not supposed to yell at Target Field. You're supposed to clap and cheer when the Twins get a hit, or when a squirrel runs on to the field or something like that—but that’s it. Don’t try yelling any other time, because—EXCUSE ME—people sitting around you are trying to watch a baseball game in some peace and quiet.

I was informed about all this last night. In the top of the 8th inning, my boyfriend and I were just sitting around yelling, having a grand ol’ time, when the fun cops in front of us turned around and told us to be quiet.

You know, because it’s a baseball game.

And this wasn’t even just a fluke either! Some girl wearing one of those hideous hair bump things you buy at Walgreens then told us to “Shut up,” with her orange friend adding in, “You guys must not get out much.”

You’re probably thinking, “Wow, they must have been really out of line if two people told them to pipe down.” So what exactly were we doing? We weren’t yelling expletives. We weren’t yelling at another fan. We weren’t simply screaming or even yelling anything mean hearted. No. All we were doing was trying to get Rusty Kuntz to turn around and look at us.

It was just me and my boyfriend, yelling together on the count of three, “RUSTY!!!”

We weren’t even yelling “RUSTY KUNTZ!!!” There were kids around.

I guess some people just don’t understand the joy behind yelling at first base coaches. This is by far my favorite pass-time at the pass-time. What could be better than yelling, “NICE CALVES LEEE!” until Lee Tinsley flicks you off? If you guessed coming back every night of the series against the Seattle Mariners and yelling, “NICE CALVES LEEEE!!” until Lee Tinsley turns around and tips his cap to you, you are correct!

Harold Baines is also a really good sport with this. Harold—like most first base coaches—does not like to stand in the first base coach’s box. So we remind him to 'Get In The Box Harold!' and that 'It’s For Your Safety Harold!' and most of the time he’ll act like he can’t hear us. But he can. He can hear us because he does things like go stand with one foot in the box (“You’re Almost There Harold!”), or walk all around the box, or rest his hand on his back with his middle finger sticking out. But when he really gets sick of us, he just drops his shoulders, marches over to the box, steps in to the box, turns around, and shoots us a stare. We squeal with delight, he marches back over to his spot outside the box, and we leave him alone—until the next time the White Sox are in town and the game is dragging.

Then you have your weird-os like Rene Lachemann. You don’t even have to say anything to him. All you have to do is watch him chew gum, blow bubbles, and carefully pop them with a toothpick before doing it again. And again. And again.

But there is one visiting first base coach who tops them all. That, of course, is Andy Van Slyke.

I don’t even like Andy because of the time he pulled off the ol’ middle finger resting on his back trick when I told him to Stop Spitting Sunflower Seeds All Over The Floor Because Someone Has To Vacuum That Up You Know. No. I like Andy because he’s extremely talented. He apparently used to play baseball and I know nothing about how good he was, but I don't even have to know because I know this: Andy Van Slyke can chew bubblegum and sunflower seeds at the same time—AND he can blow bubbles while doing it.

Andy Van Slyke’s cool factor goes up by about a billion points because he even came over to me during a game against the Tigers last year and we had an entire conversation about this. It was like the 14th inning, and there wasn’t a single sunflower shell on the field turf and he hadn’t blown any bubbles. So I stole a front seat from someone who left the game early and politely requested that he blow a bubble (“BLOW A BUBBLE ANDDDYY!!!”). He came over to me and explained that he had just gotten something done to his teeth and couldn’t chew gum or sunflower seeds. I said some things and he said some other things too, but I don’t remember what exactly because I was too busy thinking, “Andy Van Slyke is talking to me.”

So you can imagine how extremely bummed out I was when I realized just before that game against the Tigers on May 3rd—when I had those super sweet front row seats—that Andy Van Slyke had retired. Boo.

One first base coach who has never acknowledged me is Rusty Kuntz. Now I realize the guy probably has a sore spot for being heckled by fans, but I never have or would say anything mean to him. I just want him to wave at me. He has to crack sometime. I’m not giving up.

Hmm... Maybe I do need to get out more.

Corrections

2010-06-07T18:19:00.021-05:00

On June 3rd, 2010, I wrote about a kid that caught a Ken Griffey Jr. homerun ball in the Metrodome and threw it back. My Mom informed me that it was actually a grown man who did this, and provided me with her personal photographic evidence.

(P.S.— My Mom also has a blog--scratchemall.com. She hasn’t updated for awhile, but it is still quite entertaining if you’re in on that sort of thing.)

Also: When going over the story I posted on May 28th, 2010—the one about Twins fans buying beers for a lone Cardinals fan during Game 7 of the 1987 World Series—my father told me that he was the one who started the beer buying. My Mom is unable to confirm. I’m skeptical of this, but if he really did start the beer buying, I will forgive him for fumbling the game winning ball Wilson Ramos threw right at him back on May 3rd.

In other words, my bad Twins fans.

Playing Along

2010-06-03T13:13:00.026-05:00

In the last week of the 2008 regular season, the Twins faced the White Sox in a three game series at the Dome. The Twins were 1.5 games behind the division leading White Sox. It was an important series. I’m sure you remember it.

Ken Griffey Jr. had been traded to the White Sox earlier that season. In that late September series, he hit two homeruns and I saw both. I remember the second one particularly. It was in the 4th inning. Griffey nailed the ball and it sailed into the upper deck in right field. Some kid caught it.

And he threw the ball back.

There was a collective gasp. Did that kid really just throw back a Ken Griffey Jr. homerun ball? What the hell was he thinking? Doesn’t he realize what he just did? Everyone around me was shocked. They all understood. Even the next season I still heard people talking about it at the Dome. “Remember when that kid threw back Junior’s homerun ball?”

Actually, I still hear about it. Probably every other time a fan throws back a home run. “Hey, remember when that kid threw back…”

As a youngster, my capacity to recognize baseball players maxed out at three: Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, and Ken Griffey Jr. I don’t know when I finally did recognize some non-Twins player besides Ken Griffey Jr. I’m not sure why this was either. Ken Griffey Jr. was like Kirby Puckett. He was just cool.

For instance, behold my entire baseball card collection:

Yeah, so I’m not a serious collector. My Mom just gave me most of these cards a few months ago after I professed my love for Junior. I had some baseball cards when I was little, but they all ended up taped to the spokes of my bike wheels or something like that.

I was hoping I’d get to see Griffey at Target Field. I wouldn’t even have cared if all I saw was him sleeping in the dugout. Actually, that would have been awesome.

When I saw the Press Release last night, I felt like the Last Great Baseball Player was gone. He was the last of the players I remember watching back when I couldn’t even understand how a player with two strikes could foul off a ball and not be out. Back when it was more fun to try and run down and tag every base-runner than actually play Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. It didn’t make sense, but it was fun. Kind of like throwing back a Griffey homerun ball. It was just a game.

Thank you for playing, Ken Griffey Jr.

I am Soooo Sick of Perfect Games

I used to get excited about these things, but I just can’t anymore. I feel like I could go pitch a perfect game myself. That’s why I’m so glad Jim Joyce blew that call last night and robbed Armando Galarraga of a perfecto.

Apparently, a lot of people aren’t so glad. Now everyone wants instant replay. Even Jim Joyce wants it. Personally, I find anything that makes baseball any bit more like football revolting. When Gardy goes out to challenge a close call, do I want to see all the umpires run off to a little room where they will huddle around, watch a video tape, and decide what to do? Heck no. I want Gardy to be ejected, everyone to throw their hats on the field, and then be able to blame all of the Twins’ misgivings on the umpires. After all, it wasn't all those missed chances that lost the game for the Twins last night, it was that one blown call.

Doesn’t MLB already think there is some ‘pace of the game’ issue anyway? I don’t have any scientific statistical data to back this up, but I feel like the rash of perfect games and crazy low ERAs is just a by-product of MLB pushing umpires to speed things up. The strike zone seems to be widening by the minute. And I don’t get it. Who wants baseball games to hurry up and be over? Football fans?

One of the reasons I love baseball is because the games could theoretically go on forever. The only thing better than a five hour long game is a six hour long game. Screw getting up for work. I feel like the games are already going too fast. Pretty soon every at-bat is going to feel like the one by Michael Cuddyer last Sunday, where ESPN completely fast-forwarded through the whole thing. Players are just magically going to be out or be on base, umpires are going to be running in and out of some tiny replay room, and before I can even finish a Summit, someone will be declared the winner.

I vote for no instant replays, a return to the regular strike zone, and no more perfect games for at least ten years. Bad calls are a part of this pass-time. Play along.

On a day like this...

2010-06-02T21:57:00.001-05:00

Milton Bradley, Griffey's teammate for only a few months, turned to Mike Sweeney during batting practice and said, "on a day like this, it should rain in Seattle."

Can We All Be a Little More Positive Now (and Nicer to Visting Fans)?

2010-05-28T14:53:00.031-05:00

See? We can beat the Yankees.

I’m really hoping last night's win will help can the extreme pessimism floating around in the Twins blogosphere. Really, look at this stuff:

Brian on Twinkie Town: “I am a diehard Twins fan but this team is just unwatchable.”

Jason Kubel’s Beard on Twinkie Town: “I hate to say this gang, but you KNOW were are going to be swept tonight. I’m hoping for a win, of course, but deep down, at the deepest, darkest depth of human emotion, you KNOW we are about to be swept at home.”

Fanatic Jack: “This team looks more and more like 'The little engine that can't.' ... The offense is terrible, our bullpen can't hold leads, and our manager is a moron."

Jesus!

Sure, we lost to the Yankees four times this season, we’ve been batting terribly with runners in scoring position, and we’re paying Brendan Harris $1.45 million this year. But look—there’s still plenty worth living for Twins fans: even New Yorkers are agreeing that Target Field is better than the new Yankee Stadium; Morneau is leading the majors with a .377 batting average; and if the season ended today, the Twins would be the American League Central Division champions.

Plus look at this:

Be Nice to the Visitors

We all know Yankee fans can be douches, but that doesn’t mean we have to be douches too.

I was very dismayed to see some Twins fans this week at Target Stadium chasing around Yankees fans in the concourse and giving them hell. Andrew over at Off the Mark also described seeing this 'let's-act-like-we’re-Yankee-fans-at-Yankee-Stadium' type behavior (Andrew's post is a good read too).

Ok, story time: 1987, Game 7 of the World Series between the Minnesota Twins and the Cardinals. My parents—the luckiest people on the face of the earth—were sitting behind home plate. Sitting next to the aisle in the same section was a loud Cardinals fan cheering on his team.

So what did Twins fans do? A Twins fan in the section bought him a beer, because “his team is going to lose.” Then other Twins fans bought him a beer. Then more Twins fans bought him a beer. Pretty soon the Cardinals fan had a whole row of full beers in the aisle next to him, waiting to be drank. Towards the end of the game, the fan was saying “I love you guys! I looove all you guys! Twins fans are the best!! The Twins have the best fans in the world!!!”

Story time part II: In early 2005, my Mom and I attended a Twins vs. White Sox game at the Metrodome. Sitting in a seat in front of us was a lone White Sox fan, cheering very loudly and consistently for his team. He was getting a lot of beef from the other Twins fans in the section. So when Mark the Beer Guy came by, my mom stood up and said, “Mark! I want to buy a beer for that guy!” and pointed at the White Sox fan. The fan looked at my Mom like she had Alexi Casilla’s facial hair. He was utterly shocked. He informed us that he didn’t drink, but thanked her.

The White Sox Fan was actually pretty friendly. He started buying the open seat next to ours when the White Sox were in town. Now he’s our friend—he’s the guy in my photos from the Twins-Yankees game earlier this week. He gives us rides to the games when we need them, and we’re slowly turning him into a Twins fan.

Moral of the story: Please don’t act like a douche to fans from the opposing team. They are spending money at our ballpark. Plus, it is a lot more fun to be friendly, see the look on their face when you buy them a beer, and joke around then it is to get into mindless, drunk scuffles and be kicked out of the stadium.

I mean really. How can you not like this guy?

See the Video here!!!